Reflecting on a June 19 New York Times article about the rapid growth of politically organized, grassroots antigay bigotry, Joe Riddle explains — from his own first-hand experience — some of the ways in which antigay parents “torture” their children in the name of love.
Joe’s advice to teen-agers living with antigay fundamentalist parents: “Keep your head down and try to stay out of harm’s way until you’re an adult and you can get away from them.”
Dr. Drew Pinsky adopts this same concept.
I’ve given the same advice on a number of occasions, and I think it’s sound. Coming out is hard enough without having to worry about being homeless, or emotionally abused, etc.
I’ve said the same thing elsewhere. Life is–or can be–long, and living well is the best revenge. If you’re a kid who thinks you might be gay, and if you believe your parents are anti-gay, get what you can from your relationship with them, and then leave them behind. Is it difficult? You bet it is.
RE: Regan DuCasse
It is a lost cause; I’m going off to university next year, and simply leaving the family; its not worth the trouble of trying to confront the problem. They created the conditions, and they’re the ones who will have the suffer; me, I never had a close relationship with my parents, so the loss of contact with them will be nill.
Hi Regan, just one little note. I am a guy, not a lass. Dale can be a confusing name. Mine us upper midwest skandihoovian, which is always male. But other places have it as a girl’s name.
Love your posts,
Dale
RE: Regan DuCasse
The good side, I won’t be completely cutting myself off from the extended family; my aunti and uncle are both cool, so when I do tell them, it’ll be all good. The problem is, the extended family get a false image of what my family is like, oh well.
Hopefully once I get the study out of the way, I’ll either head over to the UK or the US and teach.
A Scandihoovian is someone/something from Sweden, Denamrk or Norway.Don’t know the history of use in the U.S., but it’s for me it’s slang from the merchant marine (as in “That tub has a Scandihoovian crew”). Scandiwegian is a variation.I’m guessing Dalea’s family is from Wisconsin or Minnesota and say “Yaaa…” r-e-a-l-l-y slow when the agree with you 🙂 And they can probably walk confortably (and completely unself-consciously) in snow shoes from the age of 2, even in Miami.Apart from my Dale — we also have this theory (purely based on experience) that 90% of Dale’s are gay. We’ve met ONE straight one, ever.
Then again, we also know of only ONE gay boy named Grant (that being yours truly).
Yaaa shure Grant. North Illinois in my case. I have actually known quite a few Dale’s who are straight. But I came from a place where there were lots of us.