Ex-Gay Watch

In May 18, 2010, 15-year-old Dominic Crouch of Cheltenham, England, committed suicide after being subjected to homophobic taunts at school. In the video below, his father, Roger Crouch, shares his story and talks about the impact anti-gay bullying and the death of his son has had on his life.

Second, a short film from Ireland, titled “Stand Up!” The advertisement, part of a campaign against homophobic bullying in schools, was created by Crossing the Line Films for BeLonG To Youth Services.

Finally, via Evan at Truth Wins Out, here’s a video testimony from Aaron Barton, a member of InFocus Church, Evans, GA. Aaron describes how he grew up experiencing “same-sex attractions” and, as a teenager, “gave the enemy power over that area of my life” by accepting the label “gay.” He was openly gay until finishing college, when he returned to his evangelical faith and discovered, he says, the Lord was “a restorer, a healer and a deliverer.” Aaron became “ex-gay.”

Why the connection to bullying? Because Aaron’s story reveals another kind of bullying. He was taught from an early age to be ashamed of his sexuality. Even when he openly identified as gay, he was never comfortable with his orientation. Is it any surprise that a young gay person loaded down with such shame and self-doubt because of his church’s teaching would find himself unable to express his sexuality in a healthy way and instead end up in relationships that are “destructive and painful”?

This is what happens when you’re only ever presented with two possibilities: Live a shameful, destructive life as a gay person or be fulfilled and whole as an ex-gay Christian. The middle way —  live healthily, contentedly and without coercion as the person you are — goes unmentioned. It may not always — at least in modern western religion — involve sticks and stones, but it remains shame-based bullying.

Several anti-gay and ex-gay Christian and political groups want to prevent schools from addressing homophobic bullying by name. Day of Truth, sponsored by Exodus International, exists in deliberate opposition to Day of Silence, a day established to address the problem of anti-gay bullying and harassment in schools.

And yet the last few weeks have seen a spate of high-profile teen suicides apparently provoked by homophobic bullying. Billy Lucas, Jaheem Herrera, Seth Walsh and Asher Brown are just a few of the most recent teenagers to kill themselves after being bullied because they were–or people thought they were–gay.

Today, police have identified a body as that of Tyler Clementi, an 18-year-old freshman at Rutgers University, NJ, who threw himself off the George Washington Bridge after his roommate secretly filmed him having gay sex and broadcast it live online. Before his death, he told an internet forum he felt like Dharun Ravi, also 18, was telling the world, “Look at what a fag my roommate is.”

And religious right groups like Focus on the Family continue to deny that addressing homophobia in schools is necessary:

Do you sometimes wonder what century we’re living in that swaths of people would gladly ignore the prejudice and hatred that is leading to the death of these innocent young people?