Ex-Gay Watch

Exodus’ Freedom Conference began yesterday and goes until the 11th of June. Touted with the motto “The Reality of Grace,” attendees come to hear “a message of Biblical truth and Christ-like compassion to a world impacted by homosexuality.” Watchdog group Truth Wins Out is holding a counter-conference through June 10th.

Exodus couches their rhetoric with words like “truth,” “love,” and “Christ-like compassion,” but their true core beliefs are much less kind.

Building on David Robert’s post on the Richard Cohen portion of The Rachel Maddow Show, Randy Thomas, Vice President of Exodus International, had some things to say about the exchange.

Randy Thomas: I am going to share a review of the actual interview and then move into how I believe she, and some other militant gay activists, are missing the point with regard to Uganda’s anti-homosexuality bill.

Transcript, edited for brevity, emphases mine:

MADDOW: But you have told them, particularly in your book, “Coming Out Straight,” which I understand you donated multiple copies of to this organization that‘s promoting this bill. You‘re telling them exactly what they need to hear in order to justify the kill-the-gays bill. I mean, your book portrays gay people as predators who must be stopped to protect the innocent.

COHEN: Oh, no, no, no.

MADDOW: Let me ask – I‘ll just read from your book, OK? Page 49, “Homosexuals are at least 12 times more likely to molest children than heterosexuals. Homosexual teachers are at least seven times more likely to molest a pupil. Homosexual teachers are estimated to have committed at least 25 percent of pupil molestation; 40 percent of molestation assaults were made by those who engage in homosexuality.”

This is the claim that you make in your book that exactly feeds these folks who want to execute people for being gay, what they need in order to justify that. Do you stand by what you said in your book?

COHEN: Actually, you know, that one particular quote, when I do republish it, reprint it, we will extract that from it, because we don‘t want such things to be used against homosexual persons.

MADDOW: That quote is cited – you cite somebody named Paul Cameron as the source of that book.

COHEN: I see that they‘re using it, but you took that one little quote out of a 300-page book.

“you took that one little quote out of a 300-page book”

That “one little quote” may be edited out of Cohen’s next revision, but it’s a paltry excision in light of the other “little” quotes in his book.
Read more…

Randy Thomas, Vice President of Exodus International:

Freedom of speech which expresses a difference of opinion on morality and spirituality is not a crime.

The following is a case of one of the hackneyed headless monsters that the anti-gay industry loves to trot out, especially in regard to hate crime legislation that includes protections for minorities on the basis of sexual-orientation and gender identity.

In an article on the EI blog called “Canadian Decision Protects Freedom of Speech For Religious Views,” Mr. Thomas links to another article titling “Alberta judge rules anti-gay letter not hate speech, overturns ruling”:

A Court of Queen’s Bench judge has ruled an anti-gay letter written by a former Alberta pastor in 2002 was not a hate crime and is allowed under freedom of speech.

Justice E.C. Wilson overturned a 2008 ruling by the Alberta [Canada] Human Rights Commission that the letter by Stephen Boissoin that was published in the Red Deer Advocate broke provincial law.

Mr. Thomas then had this to say:

The step backwards came when freedom of speech was taken away by the oppressive will of the government through the Alberta Human Rights Commission.

Alberta Human Rights Commission:

Discrimination re: publications, notices
3 (1) No person shall publish, issue or display or cause to be published, issued or displayed before the public any statement, publication, notice, sign, symbol, emblem or other representation that:

(a) indicates discrimination or an intention to discriminate against a person or a class of persons, or

(b) is likely to expose a person or a class of persons to hatred or contempt…

The reasoning goes; since it happened in Canada, it will can happen here. Except for the fact that Canada does not have the First Amendment which protects religious hate-speech from interference by the U.S. government. (Westboro Baptist Church, anyone?)

Despite the absence of this protection in Canada, their judicial system sided in favor of Mr. Boissoin. Ergo, even their system worked in favor of free-speech.

One of the things Mr. Thomas, et al, neglects to mention, is that Egale Canada (Equality for Gays and Lesbians Everywhere) refused to take up the case against Reverend Boissoin:

We believe that sunshine is the best disinfectant.

I concur. The suppression of hate-speech does not solve the root of the problem—the climate that allows for hate-speech to flourish.

But let’s take a look at the example Mr. Thomas chooses to defend free-speech with on a moral level.

Here is the full text of Stephen Boissoin’s letter to the Red Deer Advocate that Mr. Thomas describes as  ”provocative”:
Read more…

Today, April 17th, is the 13th annual “Day of Silence.” For those unaware, the “Day of Silence” is one day out of the school year when participating students choose to remain silent all day as a protest of the silence that many students must keep in order to avoid being harassed by anti-gay bullies at school. Special attention is paid to the Queer sector of the student body, as such bullying makes it difficult for students seeking to be sexually honest to come out. But their straight classmates could just as easily be victims. Even though this event originates from the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), there is no central entity that demands exactly how the DOS plays out at various schools. Students can choose to interact in class while being silent during their own social time between and after classes and during lunch. In fact, this may be an even greater sacrifice for students than simply not participating during class time. But contrary to statements repeated by anti-gay activists, participating students aren’t forced to keep from contributing to their classes.

Since 2004, the “Day of Truth” has been a conservative Christian response to GLSEN’s “Day of Silence.” DOT is sponsored by Alliance Defense Fund and “ex-gay” organization Exodus International, and encourages students opposed to homosexuality on religious grounds to start conversations with people about those views. They are also encouraged to refer gay students to Exodus, where they can find “hope” and “change.” Quite the contrary to DOS, DOT potentially causes disruption by telling students to engage in debates that can get ugly due to high tension and passions about those issues.

The messages promoted by the two “Days” are obvious. The former calls for an end to anti-gay bullying (not a specific promotion of homosexual acceptance as opponents believe), while the latter tells gay students to “change” so that they won’t be bullied, blaming the victims for their own oppression. And, as a result, the DOS serves all students – all potential targets of anti-gay bullying – and the DOT serves only those with aligning political intentions.

The DOS is not affiliated with any religion or political party, and anybody of any sexual orientation is welcome to participate. The DOT, on the other hand, only speaks to a very specific crowd: the conservative Christian crowd. A Jewish or Atheist student may ask, “How are you so certain you have the truth on your side?” DOT’s website tells participants to answer, “Jesus Christ said, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” As a whole, this is a useless response. With the exception of private schools that associate with this creed, already a portion of the student body is lost to DOT students.

But even if DOT were a secular concept, it would still fail the entire student body. This is because while the two “Days” may seem diametrically opposed, they both are in fact pointing in slightly different directions. DOS targets all students, faculty, and administrators – gay and straight – by calling on them to become aware of the anti-gay bullying that still goes on in schools. DOT however, is focused on reaching out to the “gay-identified” peers of its participants. The anti-gay supporters of DOT don’t understand that anti-gay bullying doesn’t just happen to those who are gay. It happens to anyone who seems different, including straight kids.

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover and Eric Mohat both killed themselves after enduring relentless anti-gay bullying at their schools. Neither one of the boys identified as gay. Pointing those two students in the direction of Exodus International would have done absolutely nothing to help them overcome or avoid anti-gay bullying – these children weren’t gay.

So, now what?

If the people being bullied with anti-gay epithets like “faggot” aren’t actually gay, how can an ex-gay program help them? And how would ingraining the message that “gay = sinful and unacceptable” soften the attitudes of those doing the bullying? If anything, it would only encourage them to viciously root out those who seem to fit that “unacceptable” mold, whether they are gay or actually straight. DOT’s website makes clear how they want to end the presence of the “gay identity” in schools. But do they want to end the presence of bullying based on the “gay identity?” DOT doesn’t give an answer – yet another example of the deafening silence from an anti-gay organization that claims to “love” gays.

The current economic situation has affected every individual, business, and organization in America – including ex-gay organizations. I recently even received a newsletter from Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality (JONAH), virtual tzedakah box in hand. This is the first JONAH email I have ever received after more than a year of scrutinizing them, as well as being in contact a couple of times by email – while courteous, they were (understandably) not exactly welcoming of me. They know I’m not a friend to their organization; I can only assume one of two things: That they sent me the email by accident, or that they are so desperate for donations that they are even reaching out to people who actively oppose their cause. XGW has reasoned that groups like Exodus – which only a month ago laid off one of their high-profile employees – are not only feeling the economic chill, but are also feeling the effects of changing attitudes. This does not just apply to gays as a segment of the human race, but to scripture as well. I am heartened to say that I have found such a changing attitude in my local bookstore.

Jews don’t “read” the Torah. We study the Torah. That is why books like Richard Elliott Friedman’s Commentary on the Torah are so crucial to Jewish spirituality: They take the words of the Torah (known to Christians as the first five books of the Bible – the Books of Moses), held to be of Divine influence and written in the language of Men, and help the reader of those words to understand. Each Torah portion, or parashah, might only be a couple of lines. But the interpretations of a single portion might be several paragraphs. Studies like Friedman’s are part of a rich tradition of Jewish Theology. The main point that separates Jewish from Christian traditions, despite use of the same text, respectively, is not Jewish rejection of Jesus as an authority but rather the implementation of such ancient texts as the Mishnah and the Talmud – whose authority Christians reject.

I knew I wanted to buy a Torah Commentary book when I was in the bookstore. How did I decide on Friedman’s text? I went straight to the passage that is most difficult for gay Jews and Christians: Leviticus 18:22. Upon reading Friedman’s response, I knew I had found my purchase.

In the present state of knowledge concerning homosexuality, it is difficult to justify its prohibition in the Torah. All of the movements in Judaism (and other religions) are currently contending with this issue. Its resolution ultimately must lie in the law of Deuteronomy that states that, for difficult matters of the law, people must turn to the authorities of their age, to those who are competent to judge, and those judges must decide (Deuteronomy 17:8-9).

This opens up a wealth of possibility in bringing the wisdom of Torah into the modern age. Instead of shunning one another as “unbelievers” of a sort, religious leaders and secular leaders can work together. Read more…

Ex-gay counselor David Pickup, whose “Increasing Manhood” video was met with speculation as to whether or not it was a joke, was recently profiled in an XGW article that showed his obsession with hyper-masculinity. His ex-gay program, “The WorkOUT,” seems to play on both this obsession and the stereotype that gay men are themselves obsessed with going to the gym.

We pointed out Pickup’s association with Jayson Graves, a Christian ex-gay counselor on the Exodus Board. Pickup is a member of Graves’s Healing for the Soul “Therapeutic Team.” His “WorkOUT” website contains links to Christian groups Exodus International, Love Won Out, and Focus on the Family in its “references” section – yet the site also contains a section that criticizes the Christian ex-gay movement.

Most, if not all, ex-gay groups warn the public about “what the gay community isn’t telling you.” Pickup works double duty, also warning you about what the Christian community isn’t telling you. In what is hailed as a “must-read article” on his website, Pickup declares that “spiritual healing does not necessarily heal homosexuality:”

To help a man find a relationship with God is certainly the eternal priority. However, to tell him he will heal himself from homosexual temptation and tendencies only through faith, prayer and service, (as some ex-gay programs espouse), then is it any wonder the homosexual struggler will continue to struggle year after year while the underlying issues are not resolved? Is it any wonder that these men experience a constant cycle of the build-up of homosexual feelings until they act out, then continue to feel horrible when asking for forgiveness, only to let the feelings build up again?

Pickup touts connections to the Christian community all the while claiming that they’re not being completely honest with you. At the same time he ironically touches on a very important point: that the shame induced by ex-gay ministries will ultimately manifest itself in the form of unhealthy sexual activity – resulting in even more shame. This he dubs “Toxic Shame.” He derides the year-in-year-out struggles experienced by Christian ex-gays who don’t resolve their “underlying “issues” – yet Exodus President Alan Chambers, who has admitted he faces this struggle, declares that it is a normal part of living the life of an ex-gay:

…And so every single morning — this is a ritual for me — I wake up and I say, “Dear Lord, I can’t make it today without You. I choose to deny what comes naturally to me. I choose to submit my will to the Lordship of your Son, Jesus Christ. And I choose better. I choose to follow You, I choose to allow Your Holy Spirit to walk before me, to guide me, to speak for me.”

I have a simple solution to prevent Toxic Shame and yearly struggles that requires no therapy and is free of charge: Teach gays – indeed, ALL people – from the beginning not to be ashamed of their sexual attractions, so they can then express their sexuality in healthy “normal” ways, such as courting another person of the same sex and going on dates.

Declaring that Christian ex-gay groups manufacture shame may create a conflict of interest for Pickup. It must be noted that Christian groups like Exodus and Love Won Out agree that you can’t just “pray away the gay.” LWO even labels this a “glib characterization” owned by the gay rights movement. According to them, “change” is a complex process and the causation of homosexuality is equally complex. But Pickup is nonetheless implying that attending a Christian ex-gay ministry is not enough. His therapy is the real therapy – and he’s the only person you can turn to for the whole story.

People who visit Pickup’s website won’t receive a true “cure” for homosexuality, but they will take in a healthy dose of contradictions. They are told to avoid so-called Toxic Shame by avoiding Christian ex-gay ministries – yet The WorkOUT reinforces its own kind of shame that is no less toxic among vulnerable gays: a man who is gay can never truly be a “real” man. Pickup points out the cycle of repression and the years of struggle that ultimately befall Christian ex-gays, yet fails to point out that ex-gays of ALL stripes will continue to struggle with same-sex attractions no matter what program they go through. In addition, he links to the ManKind Project, which actually opposes ex-gay therapy and encourages men to embrace their sexual orientation rather than repress it.

Looks like The WorkOUT needs to work out a clearer message.

April is chock full of teachable moments lest any teacher’s plan book go empty. We have Keep America Beautiful Month, National Poetry Month, and National Frog Month. April birthdays include Leonardo DaVinci, William Shakespeare, and Daffy Duck.

Now, Dr. Warren Throckmorton, professor of psychology at Grove City College, and author of the Sexual Identity Therapy Framework has come up with The Golden Rule Initiative. Dr. Throckmorton’s aim is to provide an appropriate response for straight, evangelical students to the GLSEN sponsored Day of Silence on April 25.

The Day of Silence began 12 years ago with the purpose of proactively bringing attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying, and harassment on high school campuses. GLSEN’s DOS has increased in participation and exposure each year since its inception, but opposition remains from “christians”, some of whom refuse to allow their children to attend school on that day.

Day of Silence participants are most notably opposed by the ADF sponsored Day of Truth which occurs on April 28 and was established 4 years ago to “counter the promotion of the homosexual agenda and express an opposing viewpoint from a Christian perspective”. It reminds me of one of those “loving” and “compassionate” Sally Kern rallies.

While Dr. Throckmorton may have the best of intentions with the Golden Rule Initiative, he’s getting mixed reviews from all sides. He says… Read more…

The recent hateful rant by Representative Sally Kern hit home with me, not because of the more widespread comparison she made between gay folks and terrorists, disgusting as it is, but because of her continued rant about the public schools “indoctrinating” children as young as two years old with “the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle.” As a 19-year veteran public school teacher, and an Oklahoma educator at that, where do I begin?

First of all, I’d like to let Representative Kern know that even though I contribute voluntarily to a pro-gay site, I’ve yet to receive my official copy of “the homosexual agenda.” Does that thing come in the mail? If so, mine is lost and I can scarcely think or conduct myself regarding these issues without such a document. In all seriousness, I’m not naive enough to say that I don’t operate from an agenda. Anyone with a couple of synapses making connections does, in fact, function based on one. I like to think of mine as a “love your neighbor as yourself” agenda. I do not base my agenda on sexuality, gay or straight, and the educators I know, even the ones who teach two-year-olds, are with me on that.

I’d venture to say that every public school in our country, and likely some private schools, are now teaching some form of character education. This has to be what Representative Kern is referring to in her rant because I know of no other curriculum that is widespread and could even begin to hint at the “indoctrination” to which she repeatedly refers. A simple search reveals that character ed programs are as prevalent in today’s schools as the soybean burger, though hopefully more tastefully produced. Read more…

There is a new interview and discussion of the ex-gay issue from both major angles at InterfaithVoices.org.  Peterson Toscano discusses how his life was harmed by the process, after which no change was evident.  Alan Calhoun, group leader from Regeneration Ministries discusses his shame over being gay, and his experience with ex-gay ministry personally.

Dr. Michelle Wolkomir is interviewed over the material in her new book, Do Not Be Deceived: The Sacred and Sexual Struggles of Gay and Ex-gay Christian Men in which she studies an Exodus member ministry. The discussion, which starts approx 23 minutes in (you can easily scan ahead), is interesting if fairly brief.

Dr James Hemming, a child psychologist, humanist and gay rights campaigner, has died at the age of 98.

He was Vice President of GALHA, the UK’s Gay and Lesbian Humanist Association, as well as a former President of the British Humanist Association. In the 1980s, he was an outspoken critic of Section 28, the inisidiously discriminatory Tory legislation that effectively robbed gays and lesbians of respect and tolerance in British schools. The law was finally repealed in 2003.

Hemming passed away in Kingston upon Thames, England, on 25 December.