Ex-Gay Watch

He’s not joking, the book is You Don’t Have to be Gay by Jeff Konrad.  If you want to get a copy, look no further than the Exodus bookstore — not that Exodus has anything to do with gays going straight or anything.

I tend to agree with one commenter from the Amazon listing:

He [the author] says that in high school, he had a big crush on a girl but was too shy to do anything about it or was hurt by her. He then got a boyfriend and, at first, was “disgusted” at the idea of kissing him. This tells me that the author was either bi-sexual, heterosexual, or 90% heterosexual to begin with. As a gay man, I have never had an attraction to a girl, and the idea of kissing a man I loved was wonderful to me and still is.

Whatever Konrad was, it doesn’t sound like he was gay.  Yet he’s giving advice that gay men are supposed to follow to become straight (something which is either extraordinarily rare and unpredictable, or just impossible).  This illustrates in a nutshell a significant avenue of damage caused by these organizations.  Most are painfully unprofessional and unscientific, which leads to a buffet of recommendations consisting of every amateur idea and “therapy” one can imagine — just about anything will do.

Exodus must think a lot of Konrad’s ideas, as they don’t just sell his book but highly recommend it.  From a review in their newly renovated student (youth) section:

I strongly encourage any male struggling with homosexuality to read this book.  It is not only educational; it is transformational and filled with hope and optimism.  Konrad does a fine job by utilizing support from well-known psychologists and scholars on homosexual issues to address the root of the matter and provide an alternative to the world’s view of what to do with this attraction.  As a struggler himself, he pulls from a life of experience to provide heartfelt wisdom to a man that is in desperate need of answers.  Reading this book will truly bring great insight and healing for the homosexual struggler, and enlightenment to those who don’t struggle.

Res ipsa loquitur.

Aaaaaaand it turns out to be more of the same. Literally.

2011 = Simplify, Amplify and Intensify — Letter from Alan Chambers for November 2011
Nov 17, 2010

First, we are reminded of the mission of Exodus:

Mobilizing the body of Christ to minister grace and truth to a world impacted by homosexuality.

Implication: Homosexuality is a negative impact.
—
The agenda…

He [God] has impressed on our entire team the need to do 3 things with what we already have: simplify, amplify and intensify.

~Simplify:

We want to be clear about what we do and don’t do at Exodus. [emphasis added]

Clear:
definition: understandable, apparent
antonyms: ambiguous, indistinct, mysterious, obscure, unintelligible, vague

To use it in a sentence: Clearly, “change” is possible, “temptation” may last a lifetime and “the opposite of homosexuality isn’t heterosexuality, it’s holiness.”

Everybody clear on the meaning of clear now?

~Amplify:

[T]he greatest area of need in our culture is outreach to young people. We will be changing the name of Exodus Youth to Exodus Student Ministries in order to encompass middle school thru [sic] college age students. [em orig]

As the article says, that means a messaging that’s more internet savvy, as well as “short to the point booklets.”

We also want to amplify the specialties that our member ministries provide

["We now have a variety of ways that parents can help their homosexual children decide which indoctrination service ministry is best."]

~Intensify:

We also want to strengthen our communication about the true point of this ministry … Staggering numbers of young people are abandoning their faith because they cannot reconcile their homosexuality with their Christianity.

And who better to intensify that increasing faithlessness than an organization that promises — by calculated implication — heterosexuality.
—
This is a scene from a movie called Disgrace. I watched it months ago and didn’t really care for it, but I had to rent it again so I could write this part down. It nails it.

Dad: When you were small, our next door neighbor had a dog. A golden retriever, remember?

Daughter: Jimby.

Dad: It was a male, and whenever a bitch went passed, it got excited, unmanageable, and with Pavlovian regularity, its owner would beat it so that at the mere smell of a bitch the dog would run around the garden with it’s ears flat and it’s tail between it’s legs, whining and trying to hide.

Daughter: I don’t see the point.

Dad: Well, you can punish a dog for chewing the slipper. The dog can accept that, but it’s desires are another thing.

Daughter: Is that the moral, that males should be allowed to follow their instincts unchecked?

Dad: No, that’s not the moral. What was ignoble about the spectacle was that the poor dog had begun to hate it’s own nature. It no longer needed to be beaten, it punished itself. At that point it would have been better to shoot it.

Fortunately the dog didn’t have a gun, or fingers to tie a noose. So the dog’s mother didn’t have to experience the HORROR of walking in on the sight of her son’s dangling or beheaded body.
—
So, it would seem that Exodus’ 2011 agenda is, in effect, a finessing of the message that one’s nature is something to be rejected — for life — in order to escape the eternal clutches of God’s loving wrath.

Sammy Davis Jr. “I Gotta Be Me”

___
patrick.fitzgerald@exgaywatch.com

(Note: The relevant texts to this episode can be found here (adb/pdf)), and/or you can view the whole thing here.)

With that, we begin.

Dr. David Kyle Foster is the producer and co-host of a show called “Pure Passion.”:

David founded Mastering Life Ministries in 1987 and has been its director ever since. He is also the producer and host of “Pure Passion” – a televised outreach designed to equip the church to redemptively minister to those who are trapped in sexual sin and brokenness. … The goal of the program is to tell the world of God’s grace and love through Jesus Christ and His power to set anyone free from any sin or bondage.

Foster has a series of articles on homosexuality, rife with all the stale yet vicious antigay talking points:

Kyle Foster, 2008: The reality [of homosexuality] is a dramatically reduced life expectancy and the likelihood of contracting hepatitis, AIDS, or one of a host of diseases and infections, as a result of the unnatural perversity of homosexual activity.

Suicide among homosexuals is epidemic, not because society disapproves, as many would have you believe, but because these dear people feel trapped and condemned into a lifestyle and orientation that they know is out of whack.
–
And the faithfully monogamous gay couple myth – not even close. Such relationships are statistically nonexistent in the gay community.

On December 21st, 2009, the host of the show was Jayson Graves, a board member of Exodus International:

Welcome to Pure Passion. I’m Jayson Graves, and I’m your host for today’s program.

Today we have a man who has lived with the HIV virus for almost 30 years. His name is Jonathan Hunter, and since 1985 he’s been the director of a ministry to those with the AIDS virus, called “Embracing Life.”

After overdosing on drugs, he also had an after-death experience which utterly changed his life.

In my opinion, this episode exploited Jonathan Hunter’s near-death experience (NDE) in an attempt to convince their audience that there is now eye-witness testimony—proving once and for all—that Jesus Christ Himself is anti-gay.
Read more…

From The Guardian’s Comment is free this morning:

Writing in the Times earlier this week, Patrick Muirhead describes “the day I decided to stop being gay“. Even allowing for its firmly tongue-in-cheek tone, the problem with his article is that he really seems to believe the half-truths he presents about homosexuality.

He talks of his increasing attraction to women, or more pertinently his attraction to the idea of a wife and children – though in fact, when his decision was made, no woman was even in the picture. It was the sight of a father playing with his child that persuaded this one-time “fully fledged homo” to pursue a traditional, heterosexual family life. This is a spectre that cannot be avoided throughout the article: has the author really changed, or is he just enamoured of the idea of “normality”?

In common with many others who have given up the supposedly hedonistic lifestyle of the modern gay man, Muirhead cannot resist taking a parting shot at homosexuals. It’s a familiar pattern, especially in the US, where the religious, rightwing “ex-gay” movement thrives on myth-making about the dangers of same-sex love.

Read the full article, by Ex-Gay Watch’s David L Rattigan, here.

Re: “New Jersey State Senator and NAACP’s Bond Support Genderless Marriage While Rejecting Ex-Gay Rights” [12-9-09]

“…major scientific studies and mental health associations have stated homosexuality is not innate,” said Regina Griggs, director of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays (PFOX). “No scientific evidence has found a ‘gay gene.’ No DNA or medical test can determine if a person is homosexual. Sexual orientation is a matter of self-affirmation and public declaration…”

“Sexual orientation is a matter of self-affirmation and public declaration.”

Try it like this:

Human sexuality is a matter of self-affirmation and public declaration.
—
Apparently you’re not human until you say so in public.

Building on David Robert’s post on the Richard Cohen portion of The Rachel Maddow Show, Randy Thomas, Vice President of Exodus International, had some things to say about the exchange.

Randy Thomas: I am going to share a review of the actual interview and then move into how I believe she, and some other militant gay activists, are missing the point with regard to Uganda’s anti-homosexuality bill.

Transcript, edited for brevity, emphases mine:

MADDOW: But you have told them, particularly in your book, “Coming Out Straight,” which I understand you donated multiple copies of to this organization that‘s promoting this bill. You‘re telling them exactly what they need to hear in order to justify the kill-the-gays bill. I mean, your book portrays gay people as predators who must be stopped to protect the innocent.

COHEN: Oh, no, no, no.

MADDOW: Let me ask – I‘ll just read from your book, OK? Page 49, “Homosexuals are at least 12 times more likely to molest children than heterosexuals. Homosexual teachers are at least seven times more likely to molest a pupil. Homosexual teachers are estimated to have committed at least 25 percent of pupil molestation; 40 percent of molestation assaults were made by those who engage in homosexuality.”

This is the claim that you make in your book that exactly feeds these folks who want to execute people for being gay, what they need in order to justify that. Do you stand by what you said in your book?

COHEN: Actually, you know, that one particular quote, when I do republish it, reprint it, we will extract that from it, because we don‘t want such things to be used against homosexual persons.

MADDOW: That quote is cited – you cite somebody named Paul Cameron as the source of that book.

COHEN: I see that they‘re using it, but you took that one little quote out of a 300-page book.

“you took that one little quote out of a 300-page book”

That “one little quote” may be edited out of Cohen’s next revision, but it’s a paltry excision in light of the other “little” quotes in his book.
Read more…

Randy Thomas, Vice President of Exodus International:

Freedom of speech which expresses a difference of opinion on morality and spirituality is not a crime.

The following is a case of one of the hackneyed headless monsters that the anti-gay industry loves to trot out, especially in regard to hate crime legislation that includes protections for minorities on the basis of sexual-orientation and gender identity.

In an article on the EI blog called “Canadian Decision Protects Freedom of Speech For Religious Views,” Mr. Thomas links to another article titling “Alberta judge rules anti-gay letter not hate speech, overturns ruling”:

A Court of Queen’s Bench judge has ruled an anti-gay letter written by a former Alberta pastor in 2002 was not a hate crime and is allowed under freedom of speech.

Justice E.C. Wilson overturned a 2008 ruling by the Alberta [Canada] Human Rights Commission that the letter by Stephen Boissoin that was published in the Red Deer Advocate broke provincial law.

Mr. Thomas then had this to say:

The step backwards came when freedom of speech was taken away by the oppressive will of the government through the Alberta Human Rights Commission.

Alberta Human Rights Commission:

Discrimination re: publications, notices
3 (1) No person shall publish, issue or display or cause to be published, issued or displayed before the public any statement, publication, notice, sign, symbol, emblem or other representation that:

(a) indicates discrimination or an intention to discriminate against a person or a class of persons, or

(b) is likely to expose a person or a class of persons to hatred or contempt…

The reasoning goes; since it happened in Canada, it will can happen here. Except for the fact that Canada does not have the First Amendment which protects religious hate-speech from interference by the U.S. government. (Westboro Baptist Church, anyone?)

Despite the absence of this protection in Canada, their judicial system sided in favor of Mr. Boissoin. Ergo, even their system worked in favor of free-speech.

One of the things Mr. Thomas, et al, neglects to mention, is that Egale Canada (Equality for Gays and Lesbians Everywhere) refused to take up the case against Reverend Boissoin:

We believe that sunshine is the best disinfectant.

I concur. The suppression of hate-speech does not solve the root of the problem—the climate that allows for hate-speech to flourish.

But let’s take a look at the example Mr. Thomas chooses to defend free-speech with on a moral level.

Here is the full text of Stephen Boissoin’s letter to the Red Deer Advocate that Mr. Thomas describes as  ”provocative”:
Read more…

The ex-gay “Love Won Out” conference in Birmingham went underway Friday, the final one led by Focus on the Family before they relinquish control to Exodus International amid financial troubles.

Truth Wins Out’s Wayne Besen organized a protest of the conference and spoke at the University of Alabama, Birmhingham on Thursday. This has prompted Exodus V.P. Randy Thomas to call for prayer:

I (Randy) won’t personally be at this particular event but having been to about 20 of them, every single one had some sort of protest and every single time the LWO team responds lovingly.  Would you add praying for Wayne and his friends to your prayers for the conference? We’d greatly appreciate it.

There is a promo video, a Twitter account, and a Facebook group for the conference.

LWO’s website says that they have no intention to “cure” gays:

Are you here to “cure” gays?
Absolutely not. The only time you’ll ever hear the word “cure” used in relation to our event is by those who oppose Love Won Out.  They also like to claim we want to “fix” or “convert” gays and lesbians and that we believe people can “pray away the gay.” Such glib characterizations ignore the complex series of factors that can lead to same-sex attractions; they also mischaracterize our mission. We exist to help men and women dissatisfied with living homosexually understand that same-sex attractions can be overcome. It is not easy, but it is possible, as evidenced by the thousands of men and women who have walked this difficult road successfully.

However, official statements of purpose give another impression.

From 2000:

Focus on the Family is concerned about the message that’s being silenced to our     youth today. We want them to know that individuals don’t have to be gay. That’s why we’ve developed a one-day conference for those who have a heart for youth and are concerned about the growing tragedy of homosexuality.

From 2001:

Focus on the Family is promoting  the truth that homosexuality is preventable and  treatable, a message routinely silenced  today. We want people to know that individuals  don’t have to be gay.

From 2006:

Focus on the Family is promoting the truth that change is possible for those who experience same-sex attractions — a message routinely silenced today. We want people to know that individuals don’t have to be gay and that a homosexual identity is something that can be overcome.

From 2007:

Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out ministry exhorts and equips the church to respond in a Christ-like way to the issue of homosexuality. And to those who struggle with unwanted same-sex attractions, we offer the Gospel hope that these desires can be overcome. By offering conferences, education, counseling and research, the Love Won Out team strives to uphold God’s design for sexuality in a way that transforms lives.

Before, Exodus could always defer to Focus on the Family with complaints, but now that they will be running the show, we’ll see if anything changes. Perhaps there will be an attempt to transform LWO from an ex-gay conference into a “Christian on a post-gay journey” conference.

Some may remember Michael Glatze from his ex-gay debut a couple of years ago. Formerly co-editor of XY Magazine, Glatze and boyfriend of ten years, Benjie Nycum, set out in 2004 to found YGA, another magazine designed for GLBT Youth.  Nycum and Glatze also co-authored the book XY Survival Guide while still working with XY in 2000.  YGA seems to have published only six issues and stopped publication after 2006.

While all this makes a fine resume for a thirty-something, there is no evidence that Glatze was ever the kind of major “gay rights leader” that conservative commentators claimed when presenting him to the world as having “left homosexuality.”  While many had at least heard of XY, no one in this writer’s acquaintance had ever heard of Glatze until the World Net Daily article in July 2007.

Shortly after that article, and the small flurry of posts which followed, things began to appear a bit odd.  While Glatze was supposedly getting spiritual and moral support from, of all people, Peter LaBarbera, we started getting some of the background on him.  While Glatze was only 13, his father died of a heart condition.  His mother followed while Glatze was 19.

Glatze was said to have made some poor choices in his 20s, and to have suffered from intense and frequent panic attacks prior to his announcement in 2007.   Heart palpitations led him to obsessively consider that he might have the same heart issues that killed his father, and that his own death was imminent.  His (former by this time) boyfriend, Nycum, was concerned about Glatze’ state of mind and well being.  The image of a very troubled man was emerging.

It was perhaps these issues, along with the fact that Glatze became affiliated with the Mormon Church, that led conservative evangelicals to stop promoting him.  Glatze quickly fell off the radar.  He backed out of some interviews at the last minute, and refused further contact.  The last major blip was an interview with Joseph Nicolosi published on the National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) web site in September 2007 (though the actual interview took place the summer before).  Little if anything has been mentioned publicly about Glatze since then.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, Glatze contacted GLBT rights activist Wayne Besen to ask for an interview.  We have heard from others who say they have received a similar request.  Besen declined, but relayed that Glatzed sounded a bit desperate to receive attention.

Sometime in the past five days, Glatze closed his Facebook account (cached version).  Yesterday, October 7, he started posting to a blog.  The posts are rapid and short, resembling twitter chat more than blog posts.  Disjointed and some quite offensive, we thought it germane enough to relay to readers.  Some examples:

Have I mentioned lately how utterly *disgusting* Obama is? And, yes, it’s because he’s black. God, help us all.

It’s a shame Obama is black. He could end up setting back race relations decades.

If Obama had a baby with Down’s Syndrome, he’d probably be frustrated that the child’s intelligence would never be enough to discern that his father is the Messiah. Knowing this, Obama would probably have his Down’s Syndrome baby killed, before it was ever born.

It is not possible to be a man, if you’re constantly wishing you could have a man.

I am tired of sitting here, writing nothing, hoping someone will connect with me. I’d rather go out and have sex with my girlfriend.

Interspersed with such comments are others like these:

I sing praises to the Glory of the Holy Father, God Almighty.

If you look to the East you will find the coming of our Lord. Yes!

What kind of place would you like to live in? Would it be a castle? A house on the beach? A nice cabin in the mountains? (I have the latter. For now!)

I’d have to say that the truth of the Kingdom is that you know, you KNOW, you are living in the place of your dreams.

What is going on here?  We have checked the email used in his Blogspot profile against the one he used in his request to Besen and they do match.  The image in his Blogspot profile is also the same as the one in his old Facebook account.  There seems no doubt this is Glatze, but the comments indicate someone who may be even worse off than he appeared two years ago.  If anyone out there knows Glatze, perhaps it would be wise to make sure he is getting whatever help he really needs.

At least we hope that any would-be Glatze promoters might think twice about placing him on the stage again.  As Besen determined, that would be unwise and exploitative.  Whether he is in need of help or is actually expressing genuine prejudice and hatred, giving him a platform would seem to be pointless and irresponsible at best.

According to their web site, Glatze is again working for The Shambhala Mountain Center, which has a Buddhist meditative theme. Between GLBTs, Evangelical Christians, Mormons and Buddhists, Glatze seems to be searching for something, but his recent ramblings make it unlikely he has found it.

Addendum:

Apparently Glatze did finally find someone who would give him a platform.  Just as I was about to post this, I noticed that there is a new column by Glatze in World Net Daily that appeared about 30 minutes ago.  This is the same ultra-conservative, anti-gay web site that published the first story about him in 2007.  Again, it is a disturbing rant which can only serve to emphasize the points made in this post.

The New York Times published an article detailing experiences of middle school-age children (roughly ages 11-14) who were open about their sexuality. Chris Stump of Exodus Youth responded with this article. In the Times article, we learn that while some might not experience their gradeschool years free of conflict concerning their sexuality, they are much more likely to be accepted or simply left alone about their orientation. These kids date, have boyfriends and girlfriends, and can talk openly about their crushes – no matter their gender – with their friends and peers. One 13-year-old who came out did so because when he realized he was attracted to other boys, he did not want to go through a period of miserable isolation. He chose instead to be sexually honest and open about his attractions. In response, several of his girl friends told him they were bisexual.

Stump, of course, has concerns:

Instead of celebrating the earlier embrace of a gay identity, we need to be cautious and concerned. Embracing an identity based on feelings as an 11-13 year old child, whose brain is still developing and hormones are raging, is jumping the gun.

But the point of the article isn’t that kids are solidifying their “identity” at an early age – it’s that they can be honest about their attractions at the onset of puberty, when their exclusively heterosexual peers are experiencing the same “raging hormones” and often confusing feelings. But rather than pretend they too are exclusively opposite-sex-attracted, they can talk about their same same-sex-attractions as if they too were normal. And for the most part, they have been able to find an ever-growing, accepting environment.

Stump also expressed annoyance at the author’s mention of “sexual fluidity.”

Another thing that stuck out to me was when the author mentioned fluidity in sexuality. So many in the secular world agree with the idea that sexuality is a fluid thing. But how is it so hard to embrace the idea of people moving from a homosexual identity to a post-homosexual identity? That’s just another “expression” of sexuality being fluid. But, yet, it is scorned and ridiculed for being absurd.

The difference between someone’s naturally experienced sexual fluidity and “embracing a post-homosexual identity” is that one happens with ease in some individuals as a natural part of the human experience, while the other is a “journey in Christ” that consists of years, even decades, of fruitless efforts to deny or change one’s sexual attractions. The ex-gay “struggle” with same sex attractions is often stated as simply a part of the “journey.” One must also remember that sexual fluidity is a two-way street. One’s sexual flexibility can bend in either direction – which means that one could “switch” from mostly same sex to mostly opposite sex attractions, and also back again. But most of those who seek out ex-gay treatment are same-sex attracted individuals who want to actively change their homosexuality by adhering to specific religious principals, and sometimes engage in harmful “reparative therapy.” Sexual fluidity may occur in some human beings, but it is also not something that can be taught or adopted. If your sexuality isn’t fluid, it simply isn’t fluid.

The Times article highlights a hopeful time in queer history where children going through puberty can be honest about their attractions to any of their peers, not just the ones they are “supposed” to be attracted to. And while the middle school years can still be chaotic and filled with prepubescent torture, at least the burden on gay youth to keep closeted seems to be lessening. It’s one more adolescent struggle that kids can go through together rather than miserably thinking they are the only ones. And in light of the Kevin Jennings stories circulating, including one on the Exodus blog that is highly critical, Exodus Youth should realize that providing a safe environment for teens to be able to talk about their same-sex attractions with their peers will help prevent situations like the one Jennings faced so many years ago from happening.