Ex-Gay Watch

Ex-gay ministries depend on certain adversarial elements to inspire the commitment of their members. Although the majority will agree their members did not have a choice in their homosexual feelings, ex-gay ministries emphasize choice as the key factor in the re-orientation of these feelings. Biblical emphasis on purity, chastity, and self-sacrifice give the ex-gay person a sense of process. By making consistently “biblical” choices in the expression of their sexuality, the ex-gay person can experience a level of “freedom from homosexuality” albeit paid for in their own blood, sweat and tears.

My opinions are not founded on scholarly research; rather they come from my own personal foray into (and out of) the ex-gay movement. I have lived on both sides of the controversy. Not so long ago, I could not imagine making statements such as these. Perhaps the most controversial statement I can make regarding my change of heart is that it was borne out of an earnest exploration and thoughtful examination into the seeds of my own Christian faith. I started out with a very rigid picture of God. I knew the fear but not the love of God. My experiences in ex-gay ministry served only to affirm this narrow view of faith.

Set against a biblical contrast of right versus wrong, ex-gay ministries often draw a direct link between the quality of a person’s faith and their commitment to make a choice in the “straight” direction. This value system often results in the ex-gay person being caught by a cycle of perpetual self-evaluation. Compelled to dissect every thought, every word, and every deed into these black or white categories, the life of an ex-gay can become all about choosing sides. With homosexuality as the target, the goal then becomes to eradicate all thoughts and behaviors associated with “wrong” sexual attraction. This becomes the “calling” of the ex-gay person who finds their purpose in the process of self re-orientation. I believe this mode of thinking establishes a clear and distinct association between the effectiveness of God in a person’s life and that person’s ability to commit to ex-gay change. Read more…