Exodus Youth condemns bullying by singling out gay students
In a piece called “Ministry to Gay Students,” Shawn Harrison of Exodus Youth goes the extra mile to portray condescension and religious supremacism as compassion. He also believes that the Bible is inerrant.
First we get the compassion part:
There is no question that high schools and middle schools across this nation are ground zero for students who face peer pressure, bullying, low self-esteem, depression, and the like. One of the most disturbing of these is bullying… …and occasionally ends with students getting beat up, receiving death threats, missing school, changing schools, and in some cases, even attempting suicide.
On his 611 ministries website/blog, he even shares that he attempted suicide:
I hated my high school years… …walking through the halls and enduring my new lifestyle was enough to bring me to suicide – which was attempted a few times.
Back to the EY article:
This article is not calling to accept behavior that clashes with Biblical beliefs, rather it’s calling for Christians (especially those who are youth workers) to take a stand against bullying, and start teaching the truth about sharing God’s unconditional love with those who think they are undeserving of such love.
The way that sentence is written, it seems unclear as to whether he thinks it’s the bullies who don’t feel they are worthy of God’s love, or gay students, or both. But as evidenced throughout the article, it becomes clear that it’s gay students who supposedly think they are ”undeserving” of God’s unconditional love.
Mr. Harrison then lifts two quotes—without giving credit or link—from of all places, GLSEN’S 2007 National School Climate Survey (PDF):
[Shawn Harrison:] Read what two students write about their current school experience:
Male Student – 11th grade
“I have learned that harassment in schools is a norm. Kids would scream the term ‘faggot’ as they saw me in the halls. None of the teachers said a word, and that is what scared me. I don’t feel safe at my school because I’m gay.”Female Student – 12th grade
“I stayed home because everyone hated me so much that it made me hate myself, and I thought there was something completely wrong with me. I missed almost three weeks in a row to avoid seeing the other students.”[Shawn Harrison:] As a gay teen in high school, I can clearly identify with both students.
We then get the “all bullying is equal” canard:
Whether students are gay, have braces, wear glasses, or do not act manly/feminine enough, bullying (harassment) of any kind is wrong and damaging.
Last I checked, there wasn’t a concerted religious effort to define the wearing of braces and/or glasses as a “behavior that clashes with Biblical beliefs”.
This very article of his encourages youth workers to see gay students as prodigals:
“most gay teens have unhealthy relationships”
“same-sex attraction is mainly about broken relationships between the sexes”.
And what anti-gay sentiment would be complete without the balancing effect of the ever innocuous ”Truth in love”:
I fully believe we are to love in truth… …just as Jesus exemplified. This type of authentic love goes beyond the cliché: “hate the sin, love the sinner.”
–
Besides, whenever Christians use the cliché: “hate the sin, love the sinner,” the only thing the gay community hears is HATE. That is not the message of the gospel – LOVE is.
There is good reason why many of us only hear the word “HATE,” Mr. Harrison. Your slanderous assertions above are one example. But perhaps one of the better reasons is that you and your anti-gay affiliates are willing to overlook the sin of bullying and harassment, for the sake of highlighting what you consider to be the sin of identifying as LGB or T.
Authentic love looks past the person’s faults, and looks into their hearts.
The subtext here, whether intentional or not, is that same-gender attraction is not of the heart. Thus, our human-sexuality is merely a superfluous “fault” to be looked past. This, Mr. Harrison, would have us believe is authentic love.
As the Bible says:
Matthew 7:4: How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
Seeing a non-existent fault, is a fault.
Onto the proselytization of gay youth:
The most important issue is this: does the [gay] student have a relationship with Christ?
The next important issue, once the student has accepted Christ, is this: how are they nurturing their relationship with Christ?
If he/they were serious about saving the supposedly unrepentant lost, they would start by attempting to convert the bullies, not their victims.
Further, youth workers are to “teach about all sin, not just the-gay-verses; God hates all sin, and no sin is higher than another.”
If he, et al, really believed that, then the eradication of homosexuality wouldn’t be at the top of their list.
And finally, under the heading of “The Student,” we get several examples of the whole “The opposite of homosexuality isn’t heterosexuality, it’s holiness” song and dance. Here’s just one example:
Let me first say, the overall result is not to become a manly/womanly heterosexual, getting married, or having kids. The overall result is simply this: to seek after God’s identity.
Oh, and btw:
Nothing creates more damage to one’s soul than a peer constantly referring to you as an adjective (faggot) rather than as a person. Just because a student is gay or lesbian does not mean that they have to be constantly reminded of it.
Unless you’re defining LGBT youth as unrepentant sinners. Then you can write articles to influence others to remind them of it every Christian chance they get.
There are reasons why we have age of consent laws, to protect the vulnerable. Choosing to live a physically and emotionally chaste life is one thing, but unnecessarily foisting, what amounts to be the priesthood, onto the dependant, impressionable, and powerless among us, is nothing short of ABUSE.
And calling it religion doesn’t make it any less criminal.
Shawn, thank you for coming back and answering my questions point blank. Although i have to say I would no sooner use Andrew Sullivan’s personal experiences to judge the sexuality of others as I would your sexuality, as I would Ellen DeGeneres’, as I would my one female bisexual friend. None of them represents why I am who I am and none can truly relate to the other so much that blanket statements can be made. I was never abused. I have, for the most part, led a shy, experiment-free, chaste life. Then how do I know I’m gay? Because I feel it. It’s how one knows you’re straight. But I was never molested, and my parents were always supportive of me and gave very honest talks concerning sexuality. So it would seem that someone who leads a very honest but mundane life can still end up “catching the gay.”
Additionally Shawn, I would in the future take care of how you phrase statements like “Most gays are [...]” etc. You should really say “in my experience, most of the gays I have met” but then be sure to qualify that you don’t mean EVERY single gay person.
Shawn, thanks for returning with such a detailed reply.
Shawn, I was blessed by reading your testimony of your life experiences and how you’ve overcome them and how God restored you from being abused. That’s powerful stuff. I do think, though, that there are some logical fallacies in your reasoning toward gays, but I’m not going to get into it as I think Emily’s personal example and the many like hers shows that the theory of a bad relationship with the same sex parent is seriously flawed.
What I will say from my own experience, that when I was going through ex-gay therapy, there were sometimes significant amounts of time that went by where I did not feel same-sex attractions and actually felt opposite sex attractions. However, what I figured out was that the reason I didn’t feel those feelings for other guys was that I was repressing them from consciousness. I talked recently with a guy who’s done extensive research in genetics and physiology and has been published a couple of times in scientific journals and he told me that our conscious feelings can sometimes be caused or inhibited by what we desire to feel. Apparently there was a study done on some radical feminist women who were very angry with men (and I do not mean by that to imply that that is the case for all feminists or even the majority). Apparently, they were able to experience some same sex attraction for the time in their lives that they wanted nothing to do with men. When they either decided not to be lesbian anymore or to mate with a man, they were able to easily dismiss their same sex attractions and become attracted to men or, like yourself feel nothing for either. The thing about the study was that the women were actually able to produce an attraction that wasn’t natural to them (as they reported not having it earlier in their lives) simply because they wanted it to be there so they could mate with someone. This is the power of mind over matter. However, when they decided they didn’t want it anymore, they easily gave it up (contrary to what happens with people who have real biologically caused same-sex attractions).
My point in bringing this up and sharing my personal experience is that I don’t think you or other “ex-gays” are really delivered. I think you so desperately don’t want those attractions to be there so strongly that you are able to push them out of consciousness. This is what happens to people who are experiencing sexual dysfunction (when it is not biological). For some reason (often prior abuse), they simply cannot feel sexual arousal. Sometimes this is found with people who come from extremley conservative religious backgrounds who grow up with the strong message of the “dangers” and “evils” of sex. They abstain their whole life, meet someone, get married as a virgin, come to their wedding night and they feel nothing. It’s buried in their unconscious because it was a defense mechanism to protect them from the awful guilt they would feel as a result of having a sexual thought. That’s also the explanation behind why I could “not feel” same sex attractions for periods of time. Like you, I really thought I was being delivered and I started telling people close to me that I was. However, ironically, as my Christian counselor at the time helped me to get over the way I guilted myself about everything, the feelings re-emerged slowly. Then, when I had my mind changed about what God thought about it and realized He was okay with it, they returned to normal. Likewise, when I felt like I was supposed to be attracted to women, I felt some small measure of attraction to them (similar to the experiences of those feminists). When I realized that I just felt that way because I wanted to be “normal” and I accepted myself the way I was instead, lo and behold, they disappeared! My point is that psychological reasons can influence our experience powerfully. It’s not that we have an experience (as we both had opposite ones), it’s the interpretation of that experience that matters and the psychological and physiological studies show numerous examples of what I have just shared while at the same time failing to show any actual, scientifically verified examples of someone going from completely and truly gay to completely and truly straight. Not one.
I believe you have repressed your homosexuality out of consciousness and may truly feel no attraction to men. That doesn’t mean that you’re not gay. It just means that you’re repressed. Now, if that works for you and enables you to live consistent with your religious beliefs, then that’s great, I’m glad for you. But can I give you a free word of unsolicited advice both for my sake and yours? For your sake, don’t go around telling people that you have been delivered from homosexuality, but don’t feel anything sexual toward your wife. Only people who want to believe in sexual orientation change will accept that. The average, every day person on the street will not think to themselves, “Wow, Jesus delivered him.” Rather, they’re likely to politely nod and then think as they’re walking away, “Yeah right, you’re just repressed.” Nearly no one would consider someone “delivered” who testified to getting married, but had no sexual desire whatsoever for his wife. True “deliverance” would involve being delivered from homosexuality and restored to heterosexuality. When Jesus delivered a person from blindness, He didn’t just fix one eye. I am not saying these things to be mean and I hope you don’t take offense to them, but I honestly do not want you to be seen as a laughing stock, so if telling people the truth is part of loving them as evangelicals like to say, then I have to tell you these things as your brother in the Lord.
And for the second part, for my sake, don’t go around trumpeting repression as deliverance because it just gives false evidence to certain people that they will in turn use to keep me and many others who read this site from enjoying the full rights and privileges we should have under our great Constitution. I grew up dreaming of being married one day and I would appreciate it if you would not perpetuate the myth that change is possible so that I might achieve that dream at some point. If you want to share with people how God healed you from abuse, then I say go for it! Yet, at the same time please be honest and tell them that sexual orientation cannot be changed, but that, if they felt like a life of celibacy was something they needed to adopt for them to feel faithful to God, you would be there to support them. It will save us a lot of heartbreak and them a lot of disappointment when “change” doesn’t come. I appreciate you listening to me on this and I wish you luck in future endeavors.
Shawn:
I think it boils down to a few things: one of those is how one views the Bible, another one is how one allows understanding the historical backdrop of the Bible, and another would be what one understands what it is to have a relationship with God.
I’ve mentioned this before in other places, but it bares repeating here. I believe, for example, that the Virgin Mary had only one child and that child was Jesus. When I am challenged with my belief by those who take the words “brothers and sisters” in the Gospels to mean Mary and Joseph had other children, I am able to defend my belief. By the same token, someone who believes in justification by faith only has to find a way to defend his or her belief because there will be parts of the Bible that deny it.
Some people believe we must conform to certain standards in order to have a relationship with God. All religions do. The problem with that is when they are extreme to the point where we start to play the exclusion game.
I remember as a kid the hell raised when women demanded a larger role in the church. The Catholic Church, returning back to the Middle Ages, has a whole line of books written against the ordination of women. But in Protestant Churches its now the norm. St. Paul said women were to remain silent in the church, and they were to cover their heads. Again, those who advocate women to play leadership roles in any aspect of the church have to find a way to justify their belief and again the Bible will have places that deny it.
If you flat line the Bible you still have to decide what is more important in it and what is not. You also have decide what is a universal belief and what is something that is subject to a specific time to a specific group of people. Thou shalt not kill – a universal belief most would hold to. The buying and selling of slaves – specific to certain people of a certain time. Love God above all else – a universal belief. Women are to be silent in Church – specific to a certain people of a certain time. Love your neighbor as yourself – a universal. A man lying with another man a taboo – a specific to a certain people of a certain time.
Well stated, Alan.
Emily – thanks for the suggestions about my word choices, know that I will change the wording in my article – on my site. Not sure if I can change it on Exodus Youth … but I will certainly on mine.
Again, I am sorry for the offense.
Tom – thanks for your words; though I do want to make two corrections in your statement:
First, I put the word “delivered” in quotations because I was using that as a loose term. I am cautious in using the term “delivered” when talking about homosexuality. I feel that God has given me the freedom to walk away from my unwanted same-sex attractions. At times, I am still tempted by a shirtless man walking down the beach (to use as an example), but I do not desire to have sexual relations with any man. Again, that’s where I am in my journey.
Second, I never said I wasn’t sexually attracted to my wife. I love my wife, and I love having sex with her. I did, however, say that I am not attracted to other women. Maybe that’s messed up, but again, that’s where I am right now.
As for your comments about marriage being the ultimate goal – I have never said that. I am in total support of people living celibate lives. I am not forcing change on anyone, let alone forcing people into “straight marriage”. If it seemed that way, I am sorry, but I am not suggesting that at all.
I have friends who have chosen to remain celibate – awesome. I have friends who have chosen to get married – awesome. And I have friends who are atheist and don’t have a desire to change anything – fine.
God wants our hearts … that’s what I am after: helping people reconnect to God’s heart. However that looks … it’s between the person and God.
I hope this has cleared up some confusion. Thank you all for allowing me to speak freely. I know a lot of our ideas/beliefs clash, but I am grateful that we can talk civil about this issue.
- Shawn
Hey Shawn, thanks for clarifying and for your honesty!
My grandpa used to say, “I don’t have a problem with God, it’s “his people” that I have a probelm with.” Shawn, I think it is good that you want to help reconnect people to God, but remember that God connects with us as we are. It is the soul that changes, not the sexual orientation. Too many “religious” people start with the physical and end with the spiritual, as if the physical aspect of our lives overrides the spiritual. Calvin took that belief to the extreme.
A gay couple can demonstrate God’s love just as easily as a straight couple. The body parts are not the essentials. In the Gospels, Christ numerously tries to get his listeners to understand that it is the soul not the body that is the important element to salvation. The OT prophets also made this point before him.
You said:
My husband and I confess to be devoted to walking with God. God sees the love we have for each other and we are truly blessed to have each other in our lives. When you find the one whom you can truly call your “soulmate” their love for you draws you closer to God. My love for mt partner and having him in my life makes me want to draw closer to God. If I married a woman just to conform to what “God’s people” say is the “natural” “normal” or “Biblically correct,” I know in time I would grow to resent God and eventually turn away from him. I think a lot of gay Christian couples have the same attitude in this regard.
additon: “a lot of gay Christian (and those of other faiths) couples
Part 1
I most definitely concur.
Shawn, one of the biggest complaints I have with Exodus International, et al, is their use of code wording to mask the true meaning of their message. As I said in another thread on this site:
The word “counterfeit” implies not only that our love is not real, but that we are too stupid to realize it.
These terms are dog whistles.
As I said, the ambiguity of their use is intentional. But most importantly, it is intentional for the sake of deception. And to the extent that these terms are intentionally deceptive, they are lies. Gussied up, lies.
I have no doubt that you can, and are willing to avoid such deceptive language in expressing your tale of considerable woe. I was aghast at the telling of your molestation experiences, on top of your brother’s suicide, your own attempts, and knowing that you had to re-live, at least the memories, in the effort to write it down for the rest of us.
I’m sorry for minimizing, even in my own mind, what you have been through. It takes a strong soul to be so open about things like that that are so personal. In that sense, your weakness is your strength. But to avoid (potentially) throwing your pearls before swine, consider words that will maximize the intensity of the impact of those experiences without having to dredge out each and every detail.
I say that for the sake of general pragmatism in sharing your story. Though sometimes, like here, and now, each and every detail was necessary to get me (and I’m sure others) to fully appreciate and respect your perspective in regard to “leaving homosexuality.”
To further confirm; Emily’s suggestion to use words like “in my experience…” go millions of miles as far as credibility is concerned. And most importantly, your point need not be compromised in the process.
The same goes for the other code-words/terms, “change” “temptation” “leaving homosexuality.”
If you are going to use them—then for the sake of credibility—be clear about your meaning.
Thanks for your (very) kind-hearted words Patrick. This has been a good learning experience for me. I do thank you all for the conversation.
- Shawn
P.S. I assume there is a Part 2 to your post, Patrick?
Lost in all this discussion: How does Mrs. Harrison feel? And NOT from your perspective, Mr. Harrison.
How does she feel about my gay past? Or what, cowboy?
I apologize for the lengthy delay. I had Part 2 all written out, and then started editing it and editing it and editing it, and before I knew it, I’d killed it.
The gist of it was this:
Exodus Youth is an offshoot of Exodus International. Write for one and you endorse it. Endorse one and you endorse the other.
I was going to offer a litany of examples as to why one would not want to associate with Exodus Youth, and by extension, Exodus International, but given what has been accomplished in this thread, I didn’t think it would be very productive.
Suffice it to say that many of us feel that Exodus International has committed, and continues to commit, some abominable sins in regard to hypocrisy, bearing false witness, and worse.
Point being, that it’s important to realize that when you write for EY, you put your stamp of approval on all those things (at least it appears that way from the outside looking in).
Accurate and honest wording on your part will definitely help to validate your own sincerity, but please take the time to do some research, so that you fully understand what, and whom you are associating yourself with.
It ain’t pretty.
–
Other than that, again, I very much appreciate your willingness to engage and share some of the most intimate details of your life. Your testimony goes a long way in helping me to better understand the perspective of many in the ex-gay community (even the ones I have issues with).
And at least I know now that if I have issues with you in the future, I can feel confident in corresponding with you directly.
So, a (very) good learning experience for me too.
Thank you, Shawn.
-Patrick
Thank you Patrick. I know that through this whole thread my eyes have been opened to see things through a different view – which has been very beneficial.
I would like to pick your brain about some things, if you don’t mind. Could you email me sometime? Thanks.
-Shawn
Patrick,
When you talk to Shawn, please understand that he has been connected — one way or the other — with Exodus for over 10 years. All claims to the contrary about his intentions, he has chosen to link to a long list of revoltingly anti-gay organisations that spread fear, ignorance and a damaging attitude toward gay men and lesbians.
Please do not assume you need to explain anything to him, even if he claims ignorance.
He is well aware. And has been for years. What is new for him is this type of forum.
Before you educate him, ask yourself first: to what purpose will this knowledge be put to?
False advertising remains false advertising, even if someone has corrected the spelling mistakes (if you get what we mean). Read through this post string carefully — at no point, despite all the words, has Shawn done anything to address or correct the original complaint about portraying “condescension and religious supremacism as compassion”.
And my best guess is he never will. How could he… without, first, a change in attitude?
/sigh maybe we need to change our name from grantdale to cassandra.