Ex-Gay Watch

Two former clients — Brandon Tidwell of Memphis and David Christie of New York — spoke on July 18 in front of Love in Action, a Memphis, Tenn., residential program that claims to help people reject “false images” that supposedly contribute to same-gender attraction and behavior. Tidwell and Christie said their experiences at Love in Action caused emotional, spiritual, and financial hardships. They then presented framed artwork depicting their stories to staff at the facility.

Tidwell and Christie spoke in conjunction with the Survivor’s Initiative, a national campaign to share the stories of “ex-gay survivors”– men and women who feel that ex-gay messages and programs did them more harm than good. To date, according to Soulforce, similar actions have occurred in Los Angeles, Colorado Springs, and Salt Lake City.

In 2005, according to Soulforce, Love in Action was investigated by the state of Tennessee for operating a mental health facility without a license. LIA then changed its operating procedures to avoid state regulation.* Soulforce notes that LIA recently closed its controversial Refuge program for teen-agers and replaced it with “Family Freedom Intensives,” a four-day program for parents of gay or questioning teenagers that originally cost $2,000 per person prior to a price cut that followed adverse publicity. According to Soulforce, Love in Action charges $7,000 for 3 months of adult residential treatment.

Christie said, “I grieve for my own years of anguish, but also for the confusion and pain I caused my ex-wife, my family, and my friends. And sure, I spent a lot of money in the process, but what I want back more than anything is the time and energy I put into it.”

Tidwell said, “Today, I stand here as a gay man of Christian faith, a man with hopes, dreams and aspirations to live a life of authenticity and service to this world. Through Soulforce and other partner groups, I hope to be a voice among many who are calling for God’s love and acceptance to prevail in this struggle.”

* LIA has contacted us to say they dispute this description of events. We will update if necessary after reviewing the facts ourselves and with Soulforce from whom the description came.

Update: See LIA’s concerns in detail, along with our response here. 

The gay author Armistead Maupin slammed Scientology at a book-signing in London last week:

[The] Church of Scientology comes in very handy. It’s the biggest ex-gay movement in America. They catch you when you’re young and confused, tell you they’ll look after you, even provide you with a wife and child. Then of course you have to do what they call an audit, where you confess everything you’ve ever done into a tape recorder, so they’ve got the tapes. So once you’re famous and successful you have to go along with all their nonsense about people falling into volcanoes.

In a barely concealed dig at a major film star, the creator of Tales of the City continued, apparently to great laughter:

… then you play a woman in a movie musical, a part created by a drag queen and written by a gay man.

Given the defensive, sarcastic, and even hostile reactions that Exodus and its political allies have offered in response to the Ex-Gay Survivors Conference and the growing profile of the ex-ex-gay movement, several questions come to mind.

1. How do Exodus and its affiliates treat those who “drop out” of their programs? Is any follow-up ever done to find out why those individuals left? If not, does Exodus just hope that those people will go away and quietly vanish? How are current participants encouraged to treat former participants?

2. Does Exodus believe that ex-ex-gays have a right to tell their stories in their own words, or does it regard only the testimonies of “faithful” ex-gays as valid? Is there room for dialogue with former ex-gays, or are they considered enemies of the church?

3. Does Exodus believe that ex-ex-gays are in danger of losing their salvation?  Can God still work in the lives of those who disagree with Exodus’ theological and political opinions, or are such individuals heretics to be expelled from the church at any cost?

4. When a former ex-gay claims to have been harmed by their ex-gay experiences, does Exodus take those charges seriously or are they dismissed as political posturing? Does Exodus consider its programs so far above reproach that no complaint made against them could be valid?

5. Former ex-gays are familiar with being told (by presumably well-meaning individuals) that their disenchantment is due either to personal failure or to incorrect perceptions and false expectations on their part. What, then, is Exodus doing to correct misperceptions about the definition of “change,” which are still widespread throughout the evangelical church? What is Exodus doing to ensure that “strugglers” – and their families, peers, pastors and fellow churchgoers – adopt a proper set of expectations, including fully understanding that “change” will, for most participants, mean a lifetime of celibacy?

Ex-Gay Watch is interested in hearing how Alan Chambers would respond to these questions, but the floor is open to leaders of local Exodus affiliates as well, as we recognize that their answers may vary.

XGW previously reported that the Love In Action Refuge youth program had been discontinued. In a recent press release, Love In Action reported that it has returned with a new name, Family Freedom Intensive. Unlike Refuge, this new incarnation will not be residential.

The Family Freedom Intensive involves a four-day schedule of group interaction and individual family meetings designed to help parents better understand the sexual issues their teen is experiencing while equipping them with healthier and more effective communication tools. Should a teenager decide they would like to be included in their parents’ process, we will work to faciliate [sic] that request.

The removal of the live-in aspect mixing of youth and adult attendees appears to be a follow through on a promise by Exodus president Alan Chambers. In a post to his personal blog from March of this year, Chambers responded to an issue brought up in his appearance on the Montel Williams Show.

I hate that [Lance Carroll], a 16 year old with no prior homosexual (or sexual for that matter) experiences was put into groups with adults, especially an adult that was a convicted sex offender. I stated on air that I believe that is wrong and I will follow through on seeing that a policy is enacted and enforced within any Exodus Member Ministry that works with youth.

The statement “should a teenager decide they would like to be included…” from the LIA press release seems to indicate that they will no longer take youth against their will. While this does seem to be a positive step, one must ask how free a teenager would feel to object. We know all to well, some from personal experience, that some of these kids are threatened by their parents with losing privileges, college funding, even shelter and their love.Will LIA make an effort to determine if this kind of coercion has taken place even if the youth seems to be willing?

Correction (3:06 pm):

As Peterson Toscano pointed out, Refuge, though often reported as such, was not residential. It was, however, and intensive 2-8 week program aimed at teens under 18 who attended sessions with adult members of the LIA residential program (now called “The Source”). It was during this intermixing of youth from Refuge, and adults from The Source which led to the problems (brought to light by Peterson Toscano earlier this year) to which Alan Chambers was responding in his blog quoted above.

From the archived version of the LIA/R site:

Refuge was developed to coincide with The Source, our 3 month residential program for men and women who struggle with sexual addiction and obsessive relationships. Therefore, the same tools and skills will be used in this group that have proved to be such an asset in the adult program. Some joint sessions will occur with the clients of The Source to allow additional input and perspectives into the lives of these young men. In addition to group sessions, participants in Refuge will be offered individual sessions as necessary, recreational opportunities with the other clients, as well as an atmosphere of accountability and support. [Emphasis Added]

Family Freedom Intensive can’t be accurately called Refuge with a new name, because the former is only a 4 day program, aimed mostly at parents, and apparently only involves the youth if they so desire (caveats listed above still apply).

The title of this post has been changed to correct the inaccuracy. The original title was “Ex-Gay Boot Camp Youth Program Returns, No Longer Residential.” We apologize for these errors.

Exodus periodically claims that gay people suffer little or no discrimination nowadays.

But a new study by economist Dr. Lee Badgett and her colleagues at UCLA indicates that job-related bias remains a problem. Their report, Bias in the Workplace: Consistent Evidence of Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Discrimination, reviews findings from more than 50 studies that addressed employment discrimination among sexual and gender minorities.

Among the findings:

• In one survey, 18% of the respondents reported experiencing discrimination when applying for a job or keeping a job.
• In another study, 10% of the total sample reported having been fired from a job or denied a job or promotion since age 18 because of their sexual orientation. Broken down by sexual orientation groups, 16% of lesbians and gay men said they had experienced job discrimination, compared to 6% of bisexual women and 3% of bisexual men.

Dr. Gregory Herek summarizes numerous other studies of antigay discrimination.

Based on federal statistics and his own soon-to-be-published research, Dr. Gregory Herek reports that hate crimes hit one in five adults who belong to sexual minorities. Among the findings:

• 13% of respondents said they had been hit, beaten, physically attacked, or sexually assaulted because of their sexual orientation.
• 15% had been robbed or had their property stolen, vandalized, or purposely damaged. (Combining these two groups, 21% had experienced either violence or a property crime.)
• 14% said someone had tried to attack them, rob them, or damage their property, but didn’t succeed.
• 23% had been threatened with violence.

Ex-gay activist Stephen Bennett suffered a racist verbal slip last week. But it was not an entirely isolated incident. Republic of T reminds us that Bennett has linked to white supremacists before. (Past coverage: Good As You, Ex-Gay Watch). Republic of T recalls other examples of ex-gay racism, and sees a broader pattern of racism in the ex-gay political movement.

In what continues to be a surprisingly visceral response to the recent testimonies of Ex-Gay Survivors, Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays (PFOX) has placed an open letter to all such people on their MySpace page.

While you all claim in websites, protests, in organizations, or coalitions, to want to help people who are “trapped in the ex-gay movement,” you seem to be more concerned with sticking your nose in my business, and telling me the way you think I should live, along with who I am. You don’t know me, and you don’t know my needs and wants. While you go on and on with slogans like “I survived the ex-gay movement,” it’s actually the groups like you that make it harder for us to “survive” if anything. Thanks to you and your biased, inaccurate, and false claims, you’ve managed to help our existence fall below the radar. [Emphasis Added]

That last line sounds odd, but perhaps is telling of what this emotional response is about. As for the rest, indeed much of this letter, it could easily be reversed as a response to the nearly 10 years of activity by PFOX against GLBT people.

The only thing that your organizations tell me is that because of some bad experiences you all had in the past, you’ve decided to carry your bitterness over to people like me, and try to rub it in my face, along with everyone else who desires change. Your pain and hurt, along with your frustration is extremely evident, and I’m sorry you had some bad experiences, but again, please respect the fact that I along with several other people have changed our lives.

Again, the anger is extraordinary considering the rather docile, heartfelt testimonies made by those to whom this letter is written. Compare them to the “Diary of an Ex-Gay Man” post, which seems more like a contrivance of PFOX views than anything else. The reference to “several other people who have changed our lives” was refreshing, however.

Your attempts to get what you and you only want don’t scare me, nor do your lies and false accusations. If I want to change, that’s my business. Who are you to tell me who I am or how I should live? You know what? You’re no one. So get a life stay outta my business!

It’s one of the most significant surprises of the recent Ex-Gay Survivor activities — the intensity of the angry responses by ex-gays, far beyond any I have seen in response to the most aggressive protest. What do you suppose this means?

Wayne Besen is reporting:

Truth Wins Out’s Executive Director Wayne Besen will appear live TONIGHT on CNN’s Paula Zahn Now. Besen will be debating the “ex-gay” former editor of YGA Magazine, Michael Glatze; and Charlene Cothran, “ex-gay” publisher of Venus Magazine. (8PM ET) Monday

Set your Tivos.

Hat Tip: Emily K

Update: TruthWinsOut.org reports that the segment has been canceled.

Truth Wins Out’s Executive Director Wayne Besen will no longer appear live tonight on CNN’s Paula Zahn Now -as the segment has been cancelled or postponed. Besen was to debate the “ex-gay” former editor of YGA Magazine, Michael Glatze; and Charlene Cothran, “ex-gay” publisher of Venus Magazine.

No word yet on the reason.

Hat Tip: Larry Seiferth Jr. 

Former ex-homosexual Peterson Toscano says the birth of the “ex-gay survivors’ movement” raises some questions.

Why did I pursue change?

What was I looking for?

What did I do to myself and let others do to me?

What good came of the experiences I had?

What harm came of it?

How can I recover from these experiences and move on?

For those offering or considering ex-gay therapy:

Why is change so highly desired and what are the costs in pursuing it?

What happens once people leave your care? Do you know? Do you care?

Toscano says the ex-ex-gay movement is “a movement without a manifesto or agreed upon goals. Instead we have created a venue for people, who desperately sought to change and suppress their sexuality, an opportunity to unpack their experiences and to ask the essential questions.”