Ex-Gay Watch

Alert Reader Regan DuCasse brings a story at Southern Voice titled “Leading mental health group backs same-sex marriage” this to my attention. Yes I know that’s old news, but there’s a twist so read on:

Dr. Robert Spitzer, credited with spearheading the movement to remove homosexuality as a disease from the psychiatric diagnostic manual more than 30 years ago, said he is pleased the APA is supporting same-sex marriage.

“I think the APA has always been concerned with social issues and how they affect mental health and marriage certainly affects how gay couples live,” he said Tuesday. “It’s hard for me to be against that. It will make a lot of gay couples happy.”

Spitzer is professor of psychiatry at Columbia University and chief of the New York State Psychiatric Institute’s Biometrics Research Department. In 2003, he presented research at the APA’s annual meeting stating that gay men and lesbians can successfully change their sexual orientation.

“I don’t see that as a contradiction,” he said. “Marriage does certainly affect self-esteem and mood and becomes a psychiatric issue.”

Queer how NONE* of the religious, mainstream or even gay media chose to quote Spitzer when reporting on this story when it broke a week ago.

*ok I do like to have a life, if someone finds an exception please post a comment

Via WORLD Magazine Blog, an excerpt from Soldiers of Christ an article appearing in the current issue of Harpers Magazine:

Linda Burton was “specifically called by God” to Colorado Springs seventeen years ago, though at the time she thought that she was only running from a crack-addicted man who beat her. Linda was not a Christian at the time. She had married young and moved west; after her divorce, there had been many men, an abortion. With the man who beat her she fathered a son, whom she named Aaron Michael, the “strong right hand of God.” Linda took the baby and fled to Colorado Springs, which she remembered as pure and clean from a vacation she and the ex had once taken. She worked two jobs, one waiting tables at the best hotel in town, the other at Red Lobster. A friend at the hotel invited her to New Life Church [the subject of the article, one of the largest churches in the country], where she learned how her troubles were the result of demons and how to cast them out. Now Linda is an insurance agent, and she and Aaron Michael live in a suburban home. She hears voices, but they do not disturb her. “The Holy Spirit is a gentleman,” she told me one morning over a basket of cinnamon muffins still warm from the oven.

Sitting across from me in her kitchen, she closed her big brown eyes and shushed herself. “I’m listening,” she said quietly.

“To the TV?” I asked. In the next room, Aaron Michael was watching an action movie; the house was filled with the sound of explosions.

“No,” said Linda. “To my Spirit.” She opened her eyes and explained the process she had undergone to reach her refined state. She called it “spiritual restoration.” Anyone can do it, she promised, “even a gay activist.” Linda had seen with her own eyes the sex demons that make homosexuals rebel against God, and she said they are gruesome; but she did not name them, for she would not “give demons glory.” They are all the same, she said.[3] “It’s radicalism.”

She reached across the table and touched my hand. “I have to tell you, the spiritual battle is very real.” We are surrounded by demons, she explained, reciting the lessons she had learned in her small-group studies at New Life. The demons are cold, they need bodies, they long to come inside. People let them in in two different ways. One is to be sinned against. “Molested,” suggested Linda. The other is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You could walk by sin—a murder, a homosexual act—and a demon will leap onto your bones. Cities, therefore, are especially dangerous.[emphasis added]

[footnote at end of article]
3. The life of the gay man, in the evangelical imagination, seems to be an endless succession of orgasms, interrupted only by jocular episodes of male bonhomie. The gay man promises Christian men a guilt-free existence, the garden before Eve. As such, he is not just tempting but temptation embodied; “the Enemy,” to whom Linda often refers.

It bothers me this “demons jumping” idea isn’t a direct quote but rather said by the author paraphrasing Linda. Also I would be interested to know just exactly what small-group at New Life Church goes around spreading this nonsense to its members. In case you didn’t catch it the first time here’s a little instant replay for you:

You could walk by sin—a murder, a homosexual act—and a demon will leap onto your bones.

PRESS RELEASE

Filmmaker Tom Murray is pleased to announce the premiere of his recently completed documentary project, “Fish Can’t Fly.”

www.fishcantfly.com

The screening will take on June 12th in New York City as part of NEWFEST, the New York City Gay and Lesbian Film festival.

www.newfest.org

In this timely piece, the filmmaker takes a look at the lives of gay men and women of faith and the manner in which they ultimately put their spirituality and sexuality in harmony after their experiences with “ex-gay” programs. The stories are sad, poignant and yet ultimately inspiring. Two people known for their expertise on “ex-gay” issues, Wayne Besen and Peterson Toscano, appear in the film. A brief synopsis follows:

************

FISH CAN’T FLY
83 minutes
Conversations about God, and struggling to be gay

In this timely documentary, FISH CAN’T FLY takes a secular point of view to explore the lives of gay men and women of faith as they recall their journeys to put their sexuality and spirituality in harmony. While the whole concept of changing one’s sexual orientation may be viewed with a high level of skepticism, ridicule and even humor by the larger GLBT community, these are the stories of those who have tried.

Finding that their strong religious convictions and faith seemed to be used against them, these are personal tales of people who have participated in “ex-gay” ministries and found in fact that they did not provide a “cure”; the answers seemed to come from within. The stories they recall are sad, frightening, poignant and yet surprisingly inspiring and enlightening. During our lives, each of us embarks on a journey to find our place in the world. Being gay can make that process more difficult; being gay and having strong religious convictions can make it doubly hard. This film speaks to the spirit and fortitude of gay men and women.

The film contains candid, fascinating and heartfelt discussions about God and being gay. There are even some surprisingly humorous events in hindsight. This is the second feature length documentary by filmmaker Tom Murray. His previous work, FARM FAMILY: In Search of Gay Life in Rural America, had its world premiere in 2004 at NEWFEST. FARM FAMILY has been part of the original acquisitions by LOGO-TV, set to launch later in June.

www.logoonline.com

Tom Murray
Director/Producer

T Joe Murray Videos
Sarasota, Florida
TJoeMurray@aol.com
www.fishcantfly.com

In a May 9 story about the National PTA’s differing treatment of PFLAG and PFOX, the Washington Times misquoted a key source.

This misconduct by the Times is not surprising — former editors at the Times have told me (and many other Washington journalists) that the newspaper’s front-page stories deliberately misquote key sources on a daily basis; top editors rewrite reporters’ Page One stories to change or conceal facts deemed politically inconvenient.

By distorting the news, the newspaper’s owners — the Unification Church of self-professed messiah Sun Myung Moon — give the newspaper appeal as a “news” source among allied religious rightists, including Exodus president Alan Chambers.

On May 9 in particular, the Times quoted PFLAG deputy executive director Ron Schittler as saying, among other things, “Our beliefs are superior.” The article also quotes Schittler recalling the PTA’s 2004 convention invitation to PFLAG because of the group’s campaign to “end rampant anti-gay bullying” in schools.

Schittler set the record straight about being misquoted — but Alan Chambers of Exodus declined to share the clarification with his followers.

Instead, Chambers repeated the claim that Schittler boasted of superiority, without acknowledging the dubious source of his information or Schittler’s repudiation of the claim. (Indeed, Chambers used the Times to parrot his own press release.) Chambers also omitted mention of antigay harassment as a key concern for the PTA and PFLAG.

The PTA has turned down a request from PFOX to exhibit at its annual show, while approving a request from PFLAG.

Now, why exactly would PFOX want to appear at a K12 Education trade show to begin with? To help all those little ex-gay elemementary school kids escape persecution from people trying to force them to be gay? Probably not. Maybe their purpose was to remind teachers that it’s okay to tolerate discrimination against gay students, because, after all, gay students “choose” to be different. Yep, that could be it.

Dust Bunnies in your Closet
By Joe Kort, MSW

Recently, a high school in Troy, Michigan made the news when the Detroit area Lesbian and Gay Community Center created a sign depicting people from all walks of life, with the heading, “Gays and Lesbians are Everyday People.” Some parents wanted it taken down because it “promotes homosexuality.” Thankfully, the Troy school board is allowing it to stay up.

These parents are sending the message that there’s something wrong with showing gays and lesbians as everyday people. Even if it were “promoting homosexuality” (which it’s not), what’s wrong with that? And how do gay children and teenagers feel knowing that some people want it—and by extension, them—removed? This only encourages those gay teenagers to stay in the closet, hiding not just their sexual and romantic orientation. There is much more at risk.

As Gay Pride Month approaches, with festivals, parades, dances, bar and movie nights, those dust bunnies lingering in our closets cause some sneezing. Most gays and lesbians don’t realize that just because you come out with your sexual and romantic orientation doesn’t mean you are finished coming out. Also locked away in your closet is internalized homophobia, which takes many forms—and Gay Pride celebrations can bring them out quickly.

Clients tell me they’re depressed and unhappy that coming out hasn’t been as good as promised by pridefests and National Coming Out Day. They go to Gay Pride events, but don’t enjoy them. They wrongly assume it’s because they have come out, which is not the real issue. In reality, those things locked away in their closets before they came out are causing the problems. Gay pride can be bittersweet: It can feel good and celebratory, but also be troubling and bring up unresolved feelings about being gay.

When gay males see other shirtless males proudly exhibiting their torsos, the dust bunnies start to fly bodies. Many of my gay clients feel inferior about how their bodies look, and seeing so many hot guys triggers their low self-esteem. Other gays and lesbians complain about “stereotypical” behavior such as men cruising one another, some dressed as drag queens or kings, dykes on bikes, leather daddies, effeminate gay men and masculine lesbian and say folks at these events are “giving gays a bad name.” These internalized homophobic dust bunnies need a good vacuuming.

Others see lesbian and gay youth at the pride celebrations and regret for not having come out sooner. It’s normal to regret how long it took you and be aware of your normative grief, but to beat yourself up over it is more about your unresolved dust bunnies.

Some couples go these events and feel tempted to cheat or flirt excessively, causing problems in their relationships. Concern about one’s partner’s eyes wandering too much can cause tension and difficult feelings. After attending a pride event, many think about breaking up with their partners, believing that from what they saw at the festivities, there are better chances out there.

And finally, if you are gay or lesbian and single, not having met someone after all of the celebration can make you think there’s no one out there right for you, and that you’re destined to be single forever.

These illusions arise from celebrations that try to unpack a lifetime of repression in a day, a weekend or even one month! Here are some ways to care of yourself during gay pride events:

1. If you persist in feeling badly about yourself, , leave the festivities for a while—or for good.. Comparing your insides with someone else’s outsides can never benefit your self-esteem.

2. If it bothers you to notice your partner’s eye roaming, tell him or her. If the conflict persists, take a time out to talk about it and decide—together!–if you should both stay or leave.

3. Keep your drinking to a minimum. When alcohol is involved, people do and say things they’d never dream of ordinarily. . Pace yourself and use booze to enhance the celebration, not become it.

4. If you have a strong reaction—either positive or negative— to others at the celebrations, remember that it’s most likely about you. Strong reactive judgments are usually 90% about you and 10% about whomever you‘re judging. Explore what this reaction says about you.

5. Volunteer for one of the gay organizations’ booths and. Keep focused on how Gay Pride is about moving forward to keep gay spirit positive.

6. Go with friends. If feelings grow difficult, even overwhelming, you’ll have someone to talk to.

Joe Kort, MSW is a psychotherapist and author in Royal Oak, Michigan. He maintains a regularly updated website at www.joekort.com.

I apologize for the high number of off-topic posts this last 48 hours but I felt we could use a new thread on which to discuss this nonsense about “one-sex marriage.” With a simple Google I found Concerned Women For America have made use of this new term(*).

Here I’ll get it started; The term “same-sex” might be uncomfortable for anti-family organizations because of it’s flagrant use of the word “same” in proximity to gay people. We all know anti-family organizations like to pretend gay peoples’ marriages are vastly different (aka not the “same”) than real marriages. As for “one-sex,” my gut reaction earlier today when I first read it is an attempt to cast a tone of selfishness and exclusion. Imagine marriage is a cookie and only one group gets it and the other group gets zero cookies. Dobson’s on record for saying gay people wish to “destroy marriage” which I’m equating here with selfishness and somehow taking it away from straight people which is of course hyperbole.

Now discuss. Whoever wins the argument gets a big cookie which they don’t have to share.

Advocate.com/Sirius OutQ Radio report today on a new Gallup poll surveying moral attitudes placed onto the lives gay and lesbian Americans. Given that I do not live by other peoples’ moralistic opinion of my life I shall only be discussing one interesting tidbit which concludes the story:

Proving the power of language in the debate, survey responses were nine to 10 percentage points higher when the term “gay and lesbian” was used instead of “homosexual.”

This of course touches on the right of any minority group to self-determine their own descriptive terminology. Only the most backwards members of society continue to refer to black Americans as “negros.” Nonetheless fundamentalists, oh I’m sorry they prefer to be called Evangelicals continue to insist on calling us “homosexuals.” Perhaps some GLAAD Media Reference Guides got lost in the mail; it’s ok though, I found it online: [emphasis not added]

OFFENSIVE: “homosexual” (as a n. or adj.)
PREFERRED: “gay” (adj.); “gay man” or “lesbian” (n.)
Please use “lesbian” or “gay man” to describe people attracted to members of the same sex. Because of the clinical history of the word “homosexual,” it has been adopted by anti-gay extremists to suggest that lesbians and gay men are somehow diseased or psychologically/emotionally disordered – notions discredited by both the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association in the 1970s.

Alert reader Michael Ditto found this stylebook excerpt put out by the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association:

homosexual: As a noun, a person who is attracted to members of the same sex. As an adjective, of or relating to sexual and affectional attraction to a member of the same sex. Use only if “heterosexual” would be used in parallel constructions, such as in medical contexts. For other usages, see gay and lesbian.

WorldNetDaily readers all too often exhibit ugly, heinous and hateful worldviews** but published on May 20th, 2005 is a letter of interest. Unfortunately, letters are not archived so I’m reprinting the entire piece here: (google cache)

Ex-gay movement a fraud

There are two things that have always bugged me about the ex-gay movement.

One is I know it’s impossible to change your orientation no matter what they say. Granted, there are self-loathing gays. One only has to read this website daily to see how many otherwise intelligent people believe gays choose to be “that way” and that their choice is evil and hated by God and they’re going to hell.

It’s certainly not easy being gay, but I assure you it’s no choice. If these people say they can go from gay to straight, isn’t the reverse also true? Is there anyone reading this who honestly believes that I could make him gay? Didn’t think so.

Which brings me to the second thing that bugs me: All we have to go on is the ex-gay’s word that he or she has changed. That is, until now. Science is getting closer all the time to proving that we are indeed born that way, and the recent studies in Sweden could be used as a way to test these folks.

I challenge any ex-gay to prove his conversion. Lets take a picture of the inner workings of the brain, the hypothalamus actually, while being exposed to male pheromones (it would have to be a gay man not a lesbian for now). Since this is a response that cannot be controlled or faked, it should go a long way toward settling the question of whether or not gay conversion therapy really works. Any takers?

Scott L. Doonan

As the first commenter to this post pointed out, arguing about “biological gay attributes” isn’t getting us anywhere. The important point this letter attempts to raise is, ex-gays should have to provide more proof than just their word on the efficacy of conversion therapy.

Mr. Doonan’s proposal relies too heavily on “gay attributes” when there already exist a slew of methods by which researchers can quantify human sexual response: polygraph, pupil dilation and even measuring changes in blood-flow to the genitals. Hmm… any self-proclaimed ex-gays care to volunteer?

**Yes I know those are strong words but have a look: WND readers overwhelmingly voted 83-percent in favor of the United States threatening to vaporize Mecca and Medina in a sick and twisted effort to somehow deter terrorists from using nuclear weapons.(*) Shortly before Yasser Arafat’s death the exact status of his health was relatively unknown. During that time of uncertainty WND readers were asked what Arafat’s “real condition” was; 42-percent of readers replied he was “Dead, in hell”(*)

The [AFA] is announcing the end of its years-long protest against the Walt Disney Company. For nine years, the pro-family organization has urged its supporters to avoid anything Disney, but the boycott has now officially come to an end…

…Wildmon and others at AFA believe some of the initial concerns that caused the ministry to call the boycott have been addressed. “We feel like Disney, in many respects, has made an effort to clean up its act in the last couple of years,” he says, “especially with the resignation of Michael Eisner. He’s been a big problem with Disney. And also, they’re getting rid of Miramax Films.”(*)

Really? And here I’ve been thinking for the past NINE YEARS it was about Disney giving special rights equal benefits to gay families. I’d express my further feelings on this matter more colorfully but doing so would require the use of a bovine paired with a four letter word.

Oh and isn’t it cute how the Agapepress refers to the AFA in the third person? As if I don’t notice it’s a soapbox for whatever pea was under Don Wildmon’s mattress last night.