Ex-Gay Watch

Stephen Bennett defends his hostility to gay parents, their families, and supportive straight parents during his Aug. 7 protest in Provincetown, Mass.

Other online coverage:

• A pro-exgay Yahoo group discusses Stephen Bennett’s antigay protest starting here. One of the group moderators is Janet Hensley (saltnlight). In addition to excluding gay-tolerant and gay-affirming individuals from the Yahoo group, Janet’s responsibilities include web research. Congratulations, Janet.
• Blogger Stacy L. Harp, a Southern California chapter leader for Concerned Women for America, blasts Paul Keith’s report for XGW on Stephen Bennett’s protest.
  

  All I can say to this “report” is that Paul apparently enjoyed being antagonistic towards the Bennett ministry team. However, what’s even more sad is that anyone who professes to be a Christian and a practicing homosexual and believes that God is okay with that, is as the book of 1 John says, “deceiving themselves.” Another thing that is also interesting is how Paul apparently lusts after Stephen Bennett and says how “cute” Stephen is. I wonder, does Paul understand anything about the war between the flesh and the Spirit or is Christianity for Paul, just a joke and a seemingly easy ticket to heaven? I wonder, since the gay activists always boast about how prideful they are. I recall a little something about pride and how God hates the proud. I also recall that Lucifer in his arrogance got thrown out of the heavens because he was full of pride and wanted to be better than God. Let’s face it, the fact is that anyone who claims the name of Christ and yet walks in a sin that is clearly outlined in Scripture to be wrong, is being disobedient to the Father in Heaven. And I believe that they are breaking the Father’s heart and mocking the price that Christ paid on the cross for our sin.I’m not sure I would want to be that person because falling into the hands of a holy and righteous God who is all consuming fire wouldn’t be a very pleasant experience.

  But what is even more telling and extremely sad is what Paul says at the end. He thinks it would be great if Stephen Bennett returned to the homosexual lifestyle and become a “gay” Christian. Why? Because Paul finds Stephen attractive, and doesn’t really care about anything spiritual. Paul cares about the flesh, and he doesn’t show any love, Christian or otherwise towards Stephen. Because if he truly loved Stephen, then he would want what’s best for him. That’s the difference between Stephen’s love and Paul’s love.

  Stephen wants what is best for those caught in the sin of homosexuality. Paul wants people to remain trapped and to fall back into it, because Paul doesn’t want to leave his sexual choice.

(Harp, a politically conservative Christian family counselor, is completing her master’s degree in clinical psychology. )

Her character attacks against Keith and Hensley’s sales pitches for SBM cleverly avoid mentioning Bennett’s dark side. In an editorial published on the day of the first same-sex marriages in Massachusetts, Bennett said (emphasis added):

Do not despair. God doesn’t recognize these so called “gay” marriages. They are an abomination to Him and a putrid stench in His nostrils.

This is Bennett’s idea of “evangelism” to lesbians and gays and to their children.

— Mike

If XGW had had time and funding, we would have mounted a P-Town NAPS Project, a silent response to Bennett’s evangelism campaign. And we might still do so next year. The campaign would consist of:

• Stickers for people in P-Town to wear before, on, and after August 7. The top of the stickers would be blank; in bold letters at the bottom would be N A P S, for Not A Putrid Stench.
• Wearers of the stickers will have the option to fill in the top portion — “Jack”, “Mom”, “Beloved Son”, “Wife”, Child of God — in whatever manner fits them.
• The leaders of Bennett’s ministry would be informed ahead of time that people wearing N A P S stickers will not speak or respond to participants in the ministry, and ask that ministry participants respect their wishes by not approaching them.
• Of particular importance, parents who place N A P S stickers on their children would be doing so as a means of indicating that the children do not have permission to speak to strangers, to respond to strangers, or to accept gifts from strangers. Again, Bennett’s group would be asked to respect the parents’ wishes by not approaching any child wearing a N A P S sticker.

Ex-Gay Watch’s position is non-confrontational. A participant in the N A P S campaign is saying:

• I support Constitutional rights to freedom of religion and free speech for all.
• I respect that the values others hold dear, and the beliefs (or lack of them) they practice, are the products of examined lives, not flippant or random decisions.
• I ask the same respect from others: Our choices are grounded in deeply-held values and beliefs, and I reserve the right to choose the settings within which and the persons with whom I will and will not discuss them.
• In order to earn my attention, you must first earn my respect.
• My respect cannot be earned by calling me sad or sick, deceived or depraved. My respect cannot be earned by distorting my words or my life, maligning my family or my community.
• Most of all, my respect cannot be earned by calling my or my loved ones’ relationships a “putrid stench” in the nostrils of God. I have the option not to acknowledge or recognize those who profess such sentiments, I can elect not to devote energy to interacting with folks bearing such messages in my midst. That is the option I have chosen for today, and that speaks to the inner meaning for which this sticker is an outward and visible sign.

What if a couple hundred evangelists spent a day in a small town, prepared to deliver a couple thousand gifts to the people in the town, yet found no takers?

What if a couple hundred folks dropped in uninvited to talk, yet found few who elected to listen?

What if it all played out quietly, yet consciously, because the parties involved on all sides knew what their roles would be before the day arrived?

What if months of strategizing and fundraising by one group was rendered largely moot because, after having their loving relationships labeled a “putrid stench,” members of the second group elected to be essentially silent when approached by the first?

What if the silent response protected the children in the second group most of all?

This is not a matter of demeaning an adversary. It is not a matter of asserting dominance, or of proving one group stronger and one weaker.

It is a matter of simple, thoughtful preparation. The people of and in Provincetown will be afforded a fraction of the foresight and planning of their visitors, and use it to choose their responses individually.

After all, what could be simpler than equipping folks with a little sticker? That’s my thought, anyway.

What do you think?

— Bose

The Exodus web site features a press release penned late last week by Warren Throckmorton.

Instead of explaining or defending the odd language and overly optimistic claims of the LA Times ex-gay ad, Throckmorton singles out two of the ad’s sloppiest critics — LAT columnist Steve Lopez and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). Both critics trivialized the content of the ads and retreated instead to tired cliches.

I could have written better criticisms of the ad than those of Lopez and GLAAD; in fact, I did.

Instead of addressing some very real problems with the ad, Exodus takes potshots over trivialities.

Patrick Connors is guest blogging at the Gay American blog.

Like XGW, he is becoming unhappy with John Kerry.

It is the will of the politicians — local and federal — that prevent us from having our Constitutional protections. We are allowing this discrimination to continue. It becomes even more legitimate when we let Kerry congratulate state after state for enshrining discrimination without responding. We are watching the country make LGBT Americans less than full citizens. This is similar to believing that slaves are to be counted as 3/5 of a man. This is taxation without representation. We pay into a Social Security system that will not recognize the death of our spouse. This is about families that cannot get their employer to provide medical insurance because they don’t count. Straight families pay less for insurance and taxes. What can Kerry do, when/if he is elected to repair the damage done this November when potentially 20 states total will have amendments to their constitutions denying us our rights? Does he even understand the impact this has on us?

I don’t know how to answer these questions, and Kerry is not giving us ANYTHING to go on. We can read between his lines, and search his speeches for subtext and hidden meaning, but it doesn’t mean a thing unless he actually says something.

One thing I am not doing is giving his campaign any money. I am not giving the HRC any more money. They support Kerry and are doing nothing to demand explanations from him.

I disagree only in that Kerry and the Democratic leadership have said something: They support state constitutional bans on gay marriage.

Go read the blog entry. And this one.

In both cases, the concluding remarks remind me of the need for Americans — not just gays and ex-gays — to stop waiting for politicians to lead; walk away from their TVs and computers; and become more active in cooperatively leading their communities and the nation. The politicians of the center (Kerry) and right (Bush) are following, not leading. And the leftist (Nader) is just a pawn of the rightist.

Paul E. Keith wrote about Stephen Bennett’s demonstration in Provincetown, Mass., over the weekend.

Since then, Paul has reflected some more, and writes:

My original post was concerned, of course, with what I saw in Provincetown on Saturday that was specific to the Steven Bennett Ministries demonstration – if one could call that flop by such a term. That was the reason I went out to P’Town, after all. But I want to add something else I saw that, I believe, is of far greater importance to all of us, gay or straight, with or without kids of our own.

Both before and after the time I spent at Provincetown Town Hall, I also spent time relaxing and crowd watching in the main Square, where the road into town from the highway intersects Commercial Street as it goes out to the Parking area near MacMillan Wharf. After crossing Commercial, the road becomes two one-way streets with a small tree-lined park between them. Benches line the grassy area and there are at least four ice cream shops within a Frisbee’s throw.

The Square was full of folks as it so often is on a fine summer day; old and young, boys and girls, women and men. The sheer volume of ice cream was daunting to one who would dearly love to drop a few pounds! At first I didn’t notice anything special, anything out of the ordinary as it were. I’d seen this traditional gathering many times before while bustling through the foot traffic on my way to the Now Voyager Bookshop or when heading to lunch at The Lobster Pot. I had even seen it “from the inside” on those few occasions when the lure of ice cream overwhelmed my dietary common sense. But I had never really looked at the scene before; never really saw what went on there. On this visit, “focused on the family” as I was – and with no apology to James Dobson – I really noticed what was happening there.

On this bench were two Dads, one wiping ice cream drool from the mouth of a toddler and the other taking an older child by the hand before crossing the street to buy some sodas. On that bench were two Moms, one holding an infant in her arms and the other yelling at an older boy to stop teasing his sister. Over on a bench at a picnic table, a Mom and a Dad were looking at a Tourist Guide, planning their next adventure, while a couple of young ‘uns slurped up the goodies while asking, “Can’t we go to the beach now? You PROMISED!” All these scenes were repeated, with many variations, throughout the Square. Adults in same-sex and opposite sex pairs sharing the duties and fun of parenting, while kids of all colors and shapes and ages did what kids do best: testing to see if their parents really did have eyes in the backs of their heads. It was an extraordinarily ordinary scene and, unless one paid attention, as I did, one would never even think of it as being anything one wouldn’t see in any park in America on any fine Summer day.

The naysaying SB Ministry folks up at Town Hall, encircled by their youthful opponents, dourly dedicated their day to warning “gay families” of the supposed disasters to come if they didn’t repent and disavow their “gay family lifestyles.” Had they spent more time licking up ice cream at the foot of MacMillan Wharf with their own children, perhaps the very ordinariness of the day would have moved even them to see what I saw: healthy, happy families – gay and straight – going about their healthy, happy lives, side-by-side, in the loving bliss of parental nurture and childhood fun.

Why, it was a scene that would have looked just as natural in any city or town in America. And just as moving to those who have enough love in their hearts to dare open their eyes to see.

I might go back for a Double Cone next Saturday. Hmmm…maybe a big dollop of pistachio in a sinfully tasty sugar cone. I just wish I had a husband to share it with me. And a couple of kids with messy faces to keep me on my toes….

—Paul E. Keith

At the Daddy, Papa and Me blog, Trey also has observations on the Family Pride Coalition‘s Family Week in Provincetown.

Thanks to Paul Keith for the photos of Bennett.

A newly published study suggests sexual orientation in males is influenced by prenatal development.

Blanchard, R. (2004). Quantitative and theoretical analyses of the relation between older brother and homosexuality in men. Journal of Theoretical Biology, 230, 173-187.

ABSTRACT

Meta-analysis of aggregate data from 14 samples representing 10,143 male subjects shows that homosexuality in human males is predicted by higher numbers of older brothers, but not by higher numbers of older sisters, younger brothers, or younger sisters. The relation between number of older brothers and sexual orientation holds only for males. This phenomenon has therefore been called the fraternal birth order effect. Research on birth order, birth weight, and sexual orientation suggests that the developmental pathway to homosexuality initiated by older brothers operates during prenatal life. Calculations assuming a causal relation between older brothers and sexual orientation have estimated the proportion of homosexual men who owe their sexual orientation to fraternal birth order at 15 percent in one study and 29 percent in another.

The maternal immune hypothesis proposes that the fraternal birth order effect reflects the progressive immunization of some mothers to male-specific antigens by each succeeding male fetus and the increasing effects of such immunization on sexual differentiation of the brain in each succeeding male fetus. There are at least three possible mechanisms by which the mother’s immune response could influence the fetus:
the transfer of anti-male antibodies across the placenta from the maternal into the fetal compartment, the transfer of maternal cytokines across the placenta, and maternal immune reactions affecting the placenta itself. This hypothesis is consistent with recent studies showing that the quantity of fetal cells that enter the maternal circulation is greater than previously thought, and that the number of male-specific proteins encoded by Y-chromosome genes is greater than previously thought.

I haven’t read the study, so I don’t know how the sampling of 10,000 men was defined or derived.

And as we’ve seen many times before, no one study is conclusive.

Virginia Stephenson of Soulforce Albuquerque provides a first-hand account of her group’s encounter with Courage, a Catholic organization that promotes chastity among same-sex-attracted individuals.

Courage does not call itself "ex-gay." But:

• Courage favors NARTH reinterpretations of current science;
• Courage misdefines "gay" as a “socio-political position,” encouraging people not to identify as same-sex-attracted, instead advising these people to move "beyond" homosexual attractions;
• Courage asserts that homosexual and Christian identities are separate and distinct, with homosexuality representing incompleteness.
• Courage’s founder blames the Catholic sexual abuse scandal on gay priests generally, while expressing measured tolerance for priests who abused teen-agers in the distant past.
• Courage asks that the antigay Catholic pastoral letter "Always Our Children" be made more strident in its condemnation of the "homosexual lifestyle."

With all that in mind, here is Soulforce Albuquerque’s account of its challenge to Courage:

Read more…

Paul of Gay Christian Network provides a first-hand account of activist Stephen Bennett’s ex-gay leafletting effort in Provincetown, Mass.
Read more…

David Batstone is the executive editor of Sojourners, an evangelical Christian magazine with a history of pro-life, pro-human-rights, antipoverty and antiviolence activism rooted in the Bible. (Disclosure: I worked for Sojourners in the late 1980s.)

When he’s not on tour speaking on faith and culture, Batstone writes a regular newsletter distributed via e-mail. In May, he answered the title question of this XGW entry, in response to angry mail from a dispensationalist.

I often hear non-Christians ask: How can a person who identifies with Jesus Christ espouse actions that run so counter to peace and justice? This theological device [the mail writer's dispensationalism] enables many Christians to discount the teachings of Jesus as a guide for living their lives. Forgive your enemies? Feed the hungry? Clothe the naked and care for the prisoner? [Speaking tongue-in-cheek:] Not a chance; you’d be foolish to adopt these practices in the dispensation in which we live. Governments must take whatever measures are necessary to defeat evil, and we are commanded to be its loyal subjects.

The May article offers a succinct explanation of one particular religious-right trend threatening traditional, gospels-oriented Christianity — and religious freedom.

Sojourners co-founder and editor-in-chief Jim Wallis similarly identifies moral myopia and political corruption in the religious right when he discusses a debate he had with Jerry Falwell on NPR’s Tavis Smiley show. On the show, Wallis raised a broad spectrum of Christian moral concerns; Falwell, on the other hand, angrily demanded that Christians practice moral tunnelvision.

In a July article, Sojourners assesses the religious right’s acquisition of veto power over Republican Party initiatives and its use of George W. Bush to gain seats on the U.S. Supreme Court.

My selection of items is not, however, an indication that Sojourners obsesses over the religious right. In February the magazine examined why "liberal" Christians might need evangelicals — and vice versa. The same issue offered an upbeat February interview with popular Christian author, Philip Yancey, whose values — like those of Sojourners — thwart political stereotypes.

Tommy Tomlinson of The Charlotte Observer (free subscription required) comments on Catholic bishops who pick and choose which Biblical moralities to uphold and which to ignore:

Bishops who single out the abortion strictly enforce sexual and reproductive morality. They then deny communion to abortion-tolerant politicians.

But moral issues such as economics, just war and criminal justice make these particular bishops uncomfortable; after all, upholding Biblical morality in these areas tends to offend conservatives. Instead of standing firm on moral principle, the bishops grant communion to (conservative) political candidates who violate Biblical and Catholic moral mandates.

Meanwhile….

In Texas, Bible Belt heterosexuals are developing easier ways to get divorced. (Fort Worth Star-Telegram; free sub required.)

And the state of Virginia is busy convicting a devout Mennonite who believes school buses should not be elevating flag and patriotism to the level of religion, thereby violating his Christian religious beliefs.

Find the most recent XGW coverage of Kirk Talley here.

August 6, 2004

The antigay Southern Baptist who attempted to extort money from southern gospel singer Kirk Talley was sentenced Aug. 4 to 20 months in prison and ordered to pay Talley $100,000 in restitution.

According to the Knoxville News-Sentinel (free subscription required), Talley lost as much as $420,000 in canceled concerts, commissions and merchandise sales when it was publicly disclosed that Talley had been struggling with sexual orientation.

Assistant U.S. Attorney A. William Mackie said Walbert K. Farmer, 39, targeted Talley because Farmer “saw Mr. Talley as a vulnerable victim because of sexual orientation.”

“This was a hate crime,” Mackie said. “Did (Farmer) seek at any time as a purported Christian to help Mr. Talley through a preacher? No. He is claiming to be a moral person who is outraged when, in fact, he is a person who had a well-orchestrated plan to get money.”

Read Mackie’s comments again. An attorney, acting on behalf of a singer seeking ex-gay counseling, appealed to popular opposition to hate crimes.

It’s interesting to see hate-crime concerns raised in sentencing an antigay crime against someone connected with the ex-gay movement. This event raises a couple questions:

1) Should race-, religion-, or sex-based extortion be prosecuted more harshly than extortion solely for profit? If not, then why raise the issue in court?
2) Will the ex-gay movement leaders re-evaluate their opposition to hate-crime laws or their denial that hate crimes are a serious problem?
3) Much of the online conservative Christian commentary about Talley has been quite hateful. How many Southern Baptists identify in some way with the “moral outrage” of the extortionist? How forgiving is that?

Find previous XGW coverage of Kirk Talley here. Thanks to Ray Whiting for the heads-up.

Update, Aug, 21, 2004: In an e-mailed newsletter dated today, Kirk Talley reports to his supporters that he has concluded a six-month period of retreat and redemption. He is resuming concerts, attending Maranatha Church of the Harvest in Lenoir City, Tenn., and continuing counseling. He thanks a long list of people, including his ex-gay counselors. Interested individuals may subscribe to Talley’s newsletter here.