Today is National Coming Out Day. Ex-gay activist Warren Throckmorton accurately identifies the purpose of Coming Out day in a Focus on the Family article:
Warren Throckmorton, a professor of psychology at Grove City College, says this kind of “celebration” is a very well-calculated media move.
“The more that people know about homosexuality, or know somebody who has come out, they’re less inclined to oppose gay rights. Their mission with National Coming Out Day is to extend that to the widest possible audience.”
Dr. Throckmorton, of course, sees that as a bad thing.
Joe Nicolosi, in a moment of sheer lunacy, identifies another contributing factor to sexual orientation:
Dr. Joe Nicolosi, who works with people questioning their same-sex attractions, says these events may confuse adolescents and actually cause them to identify with the gay lifestyle.
“They’re going to self-label themselves as gay and that’s going to solidify, perhaps too prematurely, a gay identity. The celebration of the gay identity is just so unfair to many young people who are just uncertain about their sexual orientation.”
So if you weren’t molested, didn’t have a distant father, and played football, maybe you “are struggling with Same Sex Attractions” because you didn’t stay hidden under the bed on October 11.
Of course, this whole line of thought is consistent with the current anti-gay agenda of identity politics. If you say you are ex-gay (or “former homosexual”) you too can have a lucrative career as a political activist.
(However, if you say you are Cleopatra you only get a small room with padded walls).
Okay…I’m just going to be down to the bone, brutally honest.
And this is for Chad, DL Foster, W. Throckmorton or anybody else all up in this ex gay business.
Gays and lesbians are a minority, okay?
So, I’d rather there were MORE homosexuals, not LESS, okay?
There are more than enough heterosexuals for anybody, wherever they are.
Why y’all gotta hog the planet?!
Ya don’t OWN it and anyone else, God does.
Greedy, greedy, greedy…hetero greedy.
And despite 4 BILLION people and counting…it’s still gotta be all about procreating?!
You down on gay folks for not procreating?!
The ones NOT responsible for necessitating abortions and leaving newborns in garbage bins to die?
Yet, you want more and more and more heterosexuals, you want gay people to turn to your team?!
That’s insane on SO many levels…where do I begin.
BTW, a newborn baby boy, died in a trash dumpster near USC university yesterday. He looks to be white or Hispanic.
We have Safe Haven laws here, and this little baby boy is dead anyway, despite the law. Despite being a healthy full term birth.
The problem isn’t homosexuals in the world…it’s WAY too much heterosexuality.
So, any of those who get in the way of comprehensive sex ed, contraception options, Plan B, respect for the natural phenom of homosexuality, on moral grounds or some selective Biblical literacy…take heed.
Silence=Death,
For healthy newborn babies too.
Regan said:
Oh Regan — that’s an easy wish to fulfil.Just find out whatever these people do, and then do it in reverse. Da-dah! — more gays.
More seriously: Warren said
That one’s a keeper… did Focus just admit (by default) that ignorance is part of opposing gay men and women??? Oops.One would have thought, the way that Focus describes it, that the more people knew about homosexuality and homosexuals the more they would be against it and them. Apparently not.
More seriously: Warren said
“The more that people know about homosexuality, or know somebody who has come out, they’re less inclined to oppose gay rights.”
That one’s a keeper… did Focus just admit (by default) that ignorance is part of opposing gay men and women??? Oops.
One would have thought, the way that Focus describes it, that the more people knew about homosexuality and homosexuals the more they would be against it and them. Apparently not.
Exactly! If we are so pathetic, if our lives so filled with sadness and meaningless quests for sex, if our relationships are as unstable as the “pro-family” movement claims, why are our closest friends and relatives MORE likely to support us than strangers? It would seem that those people who see the “gay lifestyle” up close are not disgusted by it at all – I find that very interesting, and is one thing no “fundie” has ever been able to counter when we’ve argued.
Nicolosi’s group has also claimed that teaching gay tolerance can actually damage children’s brains. Believe it… or not…
https://www.narth.com/docs/curricula.html
I email Mike an article in the NYPost today.
http://www.nypost.com
A man claims that molestation by a priest made him gay. Ho hum…the usual suspects will take that and run with it.
Of course, the big hole in the equation is those same gender raped when young that DON’T become gay…or those opposite gender raped that don’t, or become offenders themselves.
These recent cases of women school teachers having sex with their young students doesn’t seem to make people think those boys will become rapists or gay or whatever or how this will impact their lives as husbands and fathers.
Indeed, the priest scandal parallels all other cases of adults in positions of influence with the young…crosses all sexual orienations and genders.
Yet and still, the unhealthy fixation is still on gay men.
Our society is freakishly foolish, ignorant and dangerous, regarding sexual matters, period.
It also bears witnessing here, that in the TIME piece…one father’s response to his son’s coming out, was contemplating taking him to a woman prostitute.
Some of my young lesbian friend’s own parents wanted them to be sexually initiated by men, to turn them into heterosexuals.
Even though these girls were underaged.
How absolutely SICK and backwards is THAT?!
This is dangerous hetero arrogance…and in the 21st century…it’s inexcusable.
Why don’t heteros ACCEPT that some kids are gay, some are not.
Some kids will be gay no matter what, and some won’t. And blaming gay people for every funky thing in sex isn’t getting any of us anywhere.
Gay kids happen, that’s all.
And one shouldn’t be forced to be the other, it’s not right, fair…let alone practical.
When, when, when…will all these heteros GET OVER IT?
Ouch. Reading their nonsense makes my brain hurt.
However, there are a few funny things in this NARTH article – other than bad grammar (“The child who is taught that he or she may be homosexual can be stressful..”)
Breiner, a NARTH pet scientist, says that providing a non-judgmental attitude about homosexuality causes brian damage. It’s because saying “you aren’t an evil sinner” can stress a kid out and that “will contribute to problems in their development”.
Aparantly saying “you’ll burn in hell forever” is not quite as stressful.
But here’s the funny part:
“Though the individual may eventually select a heterosexual life position, the preceding years of difficulties in developing and organizing one’s life are likely to have more permanent deleterious effects.”
Yep. That’s right. The damage is done in the years BEFORE THE KID COMES OUT. After that, he’s fine.
Anyone else notice the bizarre logic? Saying you’re OK will stress you out, until you actually believe it.
Also, NARTH finally admits something that goes against everything they teach:
“Human homosexuality is … determined before the age of five, and usually between 1 1/2 to 3 years of age.”
So all that molestation, absent father, lack of football stuff must occur BEFORE the kid is five.
oh darn… I just re-read it. Breiner meant that the damage is before they decide they’re straight.
silly me. Of course, accepting that you’re gay doesn’t end the stress of wondering in NARTH’s opinion. You keep on being stressed out – and having brain damage – until you reorient and convert to an ex-gay activist.
When they say a gay person is confused.
It’s because the ex gay support is confused and making EVERYONE else confused.
They must have dug their information out of their own delusions.
See what I mean about the whole movement itself being mentally ill?
Religious conservatives like Fox’s Bill O’reilly and anti-gay psychologist Warren Throckmorton are wrongly critical of National Coming Out day. Teens acknowledging their same sex attractions is not a bad thing, being asked to hide them is. Sexual orientation is not pliable as Throckmoron states. Much of the population may be at least slightly bisexual and able to alternate which desire we act on or suppress but that is not pliability – the desires persist regardless. Throckmorton admits most of us have had a same sex attraction. The historically visible gay minority is primarily same sex attracted and not suited to suppressing desire for the male gender many societies consider sexually repugnant. One primitive tribe requires that all boys be sexually involved with older men until designated maturation. At that point the man-boys return to their inborn strongest sexual desires and most select partners of the opposite sex while only a small percentage (similar to what we consistently find in all societies across time) pursue their predominant desire for same sex intimate relationships. This shows that while society can temporarily coerce people into going against their same or opposite sex attraction, left to their own innate tendencies people will return to what comes natural to them. That includes same sex intimate relationships – a fact Throckmorton does a disservice to fairness, justice, truth, and society by ignoring.
He complains teens may prematurely label themselves gay but he also prematurely and possibly destructively label gays as ex-gay. The ex-gay industry wrongly claims that complete change is possible and gays can completely convert same sex desires into opposite sex desires. Everyone involved in conversion therapy deserves to know that many of even the most prominent ‘ex-gays’ admit they still repress same sex attractions. Many ex-gays have renounced conversion therapy due to high rates of suicide or have been discovered as frauds secretly involved in gay sex. Given the strong religious, social and financial incentives to lie, therapist opinions of and participant claims of successful and complete conversion are not sufficient to be assumed true. A penis volume measurment device must be used in conjuction with separate sexual images of men and women to test objectively if any change in the level of same sex attraction has really occurred. If teens labeleling themselves gay is bad because its premature then O’reilly and Throckmorton must condemn traditional society blindly and prematurely labelling us all hetereosexual by default at birth, particularly those who come to have primarily same sex attractions. Kids are harmed by having heterosexual identities forced on them before they realize which gender(s) they are attracted to and are mature enough to decide if they are better off accepting same sex attraction or struggling to suppress it. Teenagers only become confused about their sexuality because when a same sex attraction appears it conflicts with what they’ve been taught by traditional society. They’ve been led to believe they are totally heterosexual and same sex attractions are an undesirable that only happens to undesirable others. Admitting to themselves and others that they experience these attractions and that doesn’t make them bad people is part of the resolution of this confusion. If picking a gay sexual identity too young causes gay sexual experimentation then prematurely identifying as heterosexual causes opposite sex sexual experimentation. O’reilly and Throckmorton can’t have it both ways.
Religious conservatives like Throckmorton claim to oppose moral relativism but practice it in the form of moral subjectivism. Whether they consider an action good or bad is dependant on who does it, not the action itself: Throckmorton criticizes the National Education Association for not presenting both the ex-gay and gay affirming view, but not the ex-gay organizations which also present only one side of the story. That’s a disservice to fairness, justice, truth, and society. The ex-gay industry is primarily a political ploy to reinforce a rejecting social environment which blindly and needlessly torments with erroneous assumptions of heterosexuality and condemnation anyone with a same sex attraction. This is evidenced by its studiously avoiding objective measures of success and callous concealment of the suicide rates involved with conversion therapy. Apparently having a gay kill himself is just as much a win for religious conservatives as is a claimed conversion. What religious fundamentalists like Throckmorton oppose is not the moral relativism of unjustifiable excuses, but recognition that arbitrary religous teachings based on fabricated evidence are sometimes irrational and wrong. Faith – accepting ideas at face value when you’re too young to think logically and then as an adult rigidly adhering to them despite any evidence to the contrary – is not a virtue. If Throckmorton’s claim to not hate gays was true he would try to make things better for all people with same sex attractions including those who wish to be in monogamous, supportive and loving same sex relationships. That means supporting gays’ right to marry the one they are most attracted to. That means telling the truth: There’s a slippery slope from teaching same sex attractions shouldn’t be acknowledged or acted on to violence against people with those attractions.
Even if male teens with same sex attractions do not declare as gay, effeminity is often present and reflexively and unconciously displayed. Its difficult and stressful to suppress, readily apparent to the public and draws verbal and physical attacks from traditional society because if its wrong to act on same sex attractions those with them are undesirables to some extent. In school I watched while an effeminate classmate who never claimed to be gay was regularly verbally and physically assaulted. Most of us have seen that kind of thing. I also was attacked as I struggled unsuccessfully to entirely suppress reflexive feminine gestures and slips of the tongue betraying my same sex attraction. It may not be the same prejudice blacks experienced, but ask Jews what its like to live hiding a secret, in fear and constantly on guard.
Teens declaring themselves GLBT on National Coming Out Day are not doing it just to be a part of adult political activities. They’re not taking on a predetermined identity supposedly causing behavior consistent with a role or adult expectations. Teens are more autonomous these days and less likely to do that. They are simply acknowledging they experience a level of same sex attraction that appears without any choice, just as opposite attractions do. They are unburdening themselves from the socially imposed stress of hiding their same sex attraction and the reflexive mannerisms making it apparent. They are intentionally creating a future where they are protected from physical and psychological abuse by increasing the numbers of people who know a gay person. Studies show those who know a gay person are less hostile to gays and increasing numbers of them reduces attacks against gays (those with same sex attractions). Throckmorton’s statement that its okay for gay adults to act responsibly on same sex attractions would help stop this unfair socially destructive oppression and is glaring by its ommission from the writings of someone claiming to not hate gays.
Randi Schimnosky
randi.schimnosky@sasktel.net