On September 15, a young man named Kyle Rice wrote a “first person” article in the Advocate titled I Hate Being Gay. Kyle described how unhappy he was with an orientation that was not compatible with his religion and how he’s exploring an ex-gay ministry.
The Advocate kindly let me respond.
Wonderful response, Timothy! So glad the Advocate had the good sense to let you do so.
Very good response.
What a great response Timothy! Way to go!
Aptly put, Timothy.
I am having a similar struggle right now. I’m in my first year of university and confused as to how I want to live my life. I am not Christian but I feel as though being gay just does not reflect who I am, and who I wish to be. I found your response very interesting though. 🙂
While telling it ‘the way it is’ you showed that understanding and compassion that is need also, bravo!
One thing though, while I do not doubt you when you said, “…nearly all “ex-gay” marriages end in divorce—including the unions of many who were at one time leaders in the movement and held up as testimony.” I just have to wonder because the two ex-gays with whom I have had some personal contact have rather good relationships with their wives for many years now and their kids are older. I guess the exceptions, but the rule necessarily eludes me at this time.
Calavera,
The questions you’re asking in your first year of college are common to students everywhere. Who am I? What do I want to do with my life? How should I live? What are my values? These are the questions which thinking people have asked themselves for thousands of years. Don’t be afraid of the process. If you are honest with yourself and open to what life brings you’ll find the right answers. I hope you are in an environment which promotes honest and healthy inquiry. Stay away from drugs, excess alcohol and most loose boys. Stay safe and you’ll be ok.
I just have to wonder because the two ex-gays with whom I have had some personal contact have rather good relationships with their wives for many years now and their kids are older.
Well there’s 2 out of hundreds, oh I mean thousands, err I mean hundreds of thousands, oh darn millions, yeah millions of ex-gays! Sorry for the sarcasm but I’m not sure 2 really change the picture. And since we have zero valid information on these cases… oh you know the rest as well as I do 😉
Great job, Timothy!
I’m jealous, because I sent my blog post into the Advocate on this article too. The post is here if you guys are interested: https://someguysarenormal.blogspot.com/2006/09/i-used-to-hate-being-gay.html
Also, not sure if you guys are aware of “College Jay,” but he is a college freshman blogging about his path to ex-gay. He wrote a response to this Advocate article but says he doesn’t hate being gay. It’s available here: https://collegejay.blogspot.com/2006/10/for-record-i-dont-hate-being-gay.html
A superb response. Compassionate and truthful.
Nicely done, Tim.
I was hoping someone would respond. Our critics can see that Advocate was willing to print this young man’s article and your response Tim was very forthright.
Thanks for the kind words, everyone.
I do hope that all of you who are people of faith will remember to pray for Kyle.
Lij, thanks for pointing out that I don’t have actual statistics to support “nearly all”. While my observations suggest that nearly all ex-gay marriages to fall apart, I have to admit that my observations are limited and biased. I should have said “most” or even “many”.
While overall I thought this was a good response, I was a little taken aback by the claim that “most” ex-gay marriages end in divorce.
Do you have any research or statistics to back that up? Can we see a citation? Or is that the same sort baseless assertion that the Exodus-types make all the time?
The senseless sarcasm with which you asked such a simple question does not speak well of you, Brian. Timothy is not in the habit of of making “baseless assertions” (quite the contrary) and therefore does not deserve your smug attitude straight off. If you want to know something, just ask.
Now if you scroll up a couple of comments, Timothy already answered this.
OK, I apologize. I think this might be a case of difficulty in interpreting the intended tone on the internet.
I did say that I thought it was a good response overall. And I do have a link to this site on my site. I would consider myself a supporter of this site, not a critic. So I apologize for being too sarcastic.
Let me ask again, in all sincerity, and without malice. If you have statistics or a citation which would support this claim, can you please share it? Thank you.
Again, scroll up a couple of comments. Timothy has already answered this.
Moderator Action: Deleted at request of commenter.