Stephen Bennett, who heads the ex-gay ministry named after him, was scheduled to preach and market music to gays in Provincetown, Mass., last weekend.
A reporter for the Cape Cod Times interviewed both Bennett and former ex-gays living in P’town.
Bennett claims to remain close to his former gay lover and gay friends, but unfortunately they are not interviewed.
Bennett blames his father for his homosexuality, but says they have reconciled. Again, Bennett’s assertions are not confirmed through an interview of the father.
Activists have been hunting for Bennett’s exlover ad gay friends for quite a while. They have had no success in finding anyone who knew him when he was gay. The searchers are people who are skilled in this sort of thing. They have had the assistence of activists in the places Bennett claims to have lived. Not one trace of Bennett’s gay past has surfaced. Which raises further questions.
I don’t doubt the fact that he was “gay”. Unless his gay friends and lovers were heavily involved in the gay community or wanted to make some political stand, finding them without Bennett’s assistance would be next to impossible.
Also, from reading his story, I don’t think he was quite as involved as he thinks he was. He doesn’t seem the type that hangs out at a gay bar socializing. He seems more the type they would have to pick up off the floor stone drunk. He also doesn’t seem the type of person that could engage in homosexual sex sober and not feel guilty about it and he seems to have very rarely wanted more than sex out of men as he only lists one lover and a bunch of one night stands. Our culture has made gay sex or being gay almost the ultimate taboo and it spawns quite a lot of unhealthy behavior.
I don’t know why, but I seriously doubt this guy is happily and totally heterosexual and it isn’t the ex-gay thing. I know I sound like the stereotypical gay, but something about him sets off my gay-dar. Maybe it is the way he dresses or that strange photo of him kissing his wife but something just is not adding up to straight. My gay-dar isn’t perfect, as I wouldn’t suspect John Paulic of being gay. Maybe, it is because Bennett has an artistic flair and I am being stereotypical, but whatever sub-conscious thought process triggered it is definitely going off.
“Activists have been hunting for Bennett’s exlover ad gay friends for quite a while. They have had no success in finding anyone who knew him when he was gay.”
Well, it seems to me that it would be up to him to provide evidence that he was gay.
Except, of course, that he would have no incentive to do so. He’s got a good gig going bashing fags to the conservative christians. Who seem to eat it up.
I guess it beats actually working for a living.
I think the important thing is not whether Bennett was or is gay or not gay, but what he is doing to the sexual minority community. The important things are that he is trying to influence public policy for the worst (from my perspective), misrepresenting the “gay” lifestyle, and practicing extremely inconsiderate forms of evangelism to “the homosexual”. (Who appreciates a party crasher?) Incidentally, did y’all know that he is now flogging evangelism packs to send to your gay loved one? Nice. Just what I want in my mailbox.
As for finding ex-lovers–what self-respecting gay man would cop to that one?
With John Paulk and Joe Dallas, both have a gay past that is open and known. There are people who remember them from their gay days. Not so with Bennett. He appears to have lead an active life in places he names without anyone noticing. Which raises suspicions about the whole story. This has been seen before, born agains claiming to be ‘ex’ somethings they never were involved with.
Just wanted to share this URL–Bennett’s account of his trip to Provincetown. I felt a great deal of sympathy for the P’Towners. He posts a picture that he claims was himself as a gay man, but it’s so small, you can’t really tell. (Anyway, bleached blond hair does not affect one’s genital activity.)
The
http://www.sbministries.org/p-town.html
Stephen Bennett’s emotional account of “witnessing” to the gays in P-Town is disheartening, infuriating and sometimes very, very funny. Clearly he thinks he’s doing good, but I often find his naivete hard to swallow. At least one thing is clear: whether he used to be gay or not this old-school evangelical is one hell of a drama queen.
Thanks to Cornerstone Magazine’s masterful and thorough expose on Christian comedian and “former Satanist” Mike Warnke back in the early ’90s, I guess I can’t help but be rather skeptical whenever I read anyone’s ex-gay conversion story. (Given JPUSA’s admirable passion for truth, I’m surprised the good folks at Cornerstone haven’t explored some of these fantastic “I was healed of HIV” conversion stories, but that’s a completely separate discussion.)
However, my skepticism isn’t the fact that the person in question is living a different life than they were in the past. I can accept that. People change their behavior all the time. Every day, people do things like quit smoking, get out of abusive relationships, join a gym to bulk up, go back to school in preparation for a career change… or quit pursuing a string of one-night stands with a variety of sexual partners.
It’s the last “change” that seems to be consistent with a lot of ex-gay conversion stories. Unfortunately–and this never seems to occur to these people–sexual addiction is not the definition of “gay” (which Bennett is also fond of putting in quotes, something I find insulting). I don’t care whether you’re gay or straight–promiscuous sexual behavior is not physically or emotionally healthy. But just because you’ve stopped whoring around doesn’t make you straight. It makes you a responsible human being with healthy self-respect for your own body. And one can be a responsible human being with healthy self-respect for your own body as an openly GLBT person… of faith!. I really get annoyed by ex-gays’ refusal to even acknowledge that GLBT people like this exist. Many of us have great relationships with our parents and have never been sexually abused by anyone.
But I digress. I don’t discount Bennett’s story, but I do find it interesting that if it is true that his past hasn’t been confirmed by others in the community where he supposedly lived an open life, you’d think you could at least find the boyfriend he was in a relationship with for four years, or at least friends who knew them. I mean, if they were living together that long, *someone* had to have known about it.
Ultimately, though, what bothers me is not that someone claims to be happier in a traditional marriage than as a gay man. If that’s what makes Bennett happy, that’s fine… it’s a free country, and he should have the right to make that choice. What bothers me is the fact that ex-gays like Bennett feel compelled to create “ministries” (complete with bad webpage design and mawkish music) designed to make everyone conform to *their* lifestyle–yes, it is one–and if GLBT people don’t, then they must be pursuing “sin” or worse, an “agenda.” Just because Bennett was a miserable, promiscuous gay man at one time in his life doesn’t mean the rest of us are.
Chris
I am a former lesbian. I got saved 4 1/2 years ago, and the Lord took this sin
out of my life. I no longer desire same sex relationships. I believe Stephen
Bennett’s story. Jesus Christ can save you from the downward spiral of sin in
living a homosexual lifestyle.
Welcome, Cindy.
If you are happier now than you were five years ago, then I am happy for you.
I don’t know anyone among Ex-Gay Watch readers who is living “a homosexual lifestyle” — or a “downward spiral of sin” for that matter. And I know that some readers, gay or straight, already consider themselves saved or born-again.
If you were involved in unhealthy behaviors five years ago, and you are not now, then please do not assume that other people are unhealthy or unhappy now just because you once were. We have not lived the same lives or walked in the same shoes.
When ex-gay individuals jump to inaccurate assumptions about others, they raise doubt about their own sense of security and self-worth.
While you no longer desire “relationships,” is it fair to say that you still experience attraction to the same sex?
OT: If you have access to TV and see this in time, NBC’s “Law and Order SVU” is doing an episode featuring an ex-gay ministry called “ReGenesis.”
Thanks for the reminder, Natalie!
“In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.”
1. Deut 17,6
At the mouth of two witnesses, or three witnesses, shall he that is worthy of death be put to death; but at the mouth of one witness he shall not be put to death.
2. Deut 19,15
One witness shall not rise up against a man for any iniquity, or for any sin, in any sin that he sinneth: at the mouth of two witnesses, or at the mouth of three witnesses, shall the matter be established.
3. Mt 18,16
But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
4. 2 Cor 13,1
This is the third time I am coming to you. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.
5. 1 Tim 5,19
Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses.
6. Heb 10,28
He that despised Moses’ law died without mercy under two or three witnesses:
Is it just me, or do Christians tend to be inscrutable? I have a degree in literature, and can deconstruct prose with the best of them; but usually, when confronted with a series of Bible verses and no explication or further explanation, I just don’t get it.